Body odour problem, what do I say?

[brazenhussy]

To cut a long story very short.....

Met a lovely guy online last year and we were together 6 months. I ended it because I missed my single life.
We stayed good friends as we really enjoy each others company, share interests, my DC love him and he's great with them.
His personal hygiene wasn't brilliant when we were together (nothing dreadful, just I like to shower twice a day and expect a partner to manage at least once)
I was always hinting at him having a shower and he usually took the hint.

The problem is that since we broke up last December he has let his personal hygiene go completely. He seems to be smellier everytime I see him
Last week he met up with me and DC in town to go for lunch and he was very pongy, today he called round for lunch to see to DS bike and it was so bad even the children were complaining.

He is a really lovely (very heavyset, which probably is half the problem) guy and still a regular visiter to our home but I can't put up with this. I've agonised over how to tell him - any ideas please?

With humour, but straight out and direct. "blimey you need a shower" laugh and then change the subject.

Repeat as often as required until message sinks in!

Do you think that would be a better way to deal with it than a 'heart to heart' sunshiney?

Bump please

hey Brazen.

You care for this guy right? I just think he needs to be told... had a friend with the same issue. Having tried the jokey way - it was time to get tough! He deserves to know imo.

Good luck!!

Crikey. If he's smelly there's no real future in the relationship unless he makes a big change.

I once had a boyfriend who developed a BO problem. He had actually developed diabetes and that was a big part of the problem. (Just a random thought - you mentioned he's a big lad. Could he be starting to get type two diabetes?? Other symptoms are thirstiness, tiredness and erectile problems ...)

Depends what he's like really. I had a friend with this problem, and he just really didn't have a problem with human smells (i.e. he didn't care if his girlfriend didn't wash etc). In the end me and another friend explained to him that we didn't need him to be coated in lynx, but on the other hand the smell was so bad that it would linger in the house after he left and made us feel queasy.

Is it that he's not washing, not deodorising or not washing his clothes, do you think?

Hi there, thanks for your replies

nickoka - we aren't in a relationship but it is affecting our friendship as I am embarressed when we are out incase anyone thinks it's me
I thought about diabetes and sent him for tests as when we were together he did have erectile problems plus he is always sweating but the tests said he was ok.

ElehantsAnas - he does wash his clothes but not his body and exactly like your friend he uses TONS of Lynx.
The problem started when he moved into a new flat which was at the very top of an old victorian house so there is no way the landlord could install a shower. He reckons he is too big to fit in the bath

I am gonna bite the bullet and speak to him today.

Wish me luck

Is he actually too big to fit in the bath? If so it is ridiculous and he needs to move out!
Would you be prepared to allow him to come round on the condition that he bring his shower stuff and shower when he arrives?

Well ladies.....

I texted him yesterday and asked him if he could do me a favour before we met up with friends in the evening.
He said of course he could, to which I replied "could you have a bath?" Then I went on to explain that someone in our local had made a comment about his BO and I had been wondering how to approach it for a while
He just texted back with "crikey I must smell bad! I'll have to make sure I have one every day from now on"
He smelt yummy last night - I could have fallen for him all over again

So, that was easy but whether he actually sticks to it will be a different matter

hoorah - well that wasn't so bad. It shows what a good friend you are, my friends and I have BO deals - we agree to tell each other if we ever stink!