Its gotta work....

[curvybebe]

Where do I start..!! After a serious car accident my dh had 4 yrs ago our life changed. After realising how short life is dh suggested an 'open relationship' but i couldn't bear the thought of him bein with someone else. So it was agreed i could snog other men as long as he knew as he found it exciting! As i always have had problems with my self confidence attention i was recieving of others felt great. Specially seeing that since the accident dh hasn't been as forward with the attention n affection. Looking back now i realise i should of stopped back then. Well bout 4 months ago a friend of seperated from her dh and started living the single life to the full i was goin out with her every wkend as dh was fine with this he was happy to stop in with kids. Then one night he said that it would be fine for me to sleep with another lad as long as i asked him 1st and rung him before anythin happened.. as a joke i asked him if i could do it with a certian lad who i had been flirting with for a while. A lad who is known to us.He said yes couple of weeks later i asked again he said yes but i was to ring 1st. Well one night it happened although i didnt ring him 1st i dont no why really it was just the situation i guess! I knew he would be angry so i decided not to tell him it happened. But 2 wks later i was drunk and felt guilty i guess ...i told him. He react completely different to i expected. I honestly thought he would be a little annoyed bout not ringing. But he has seen it as if i have completely cheated behind his back.
Its about 6 wks on now and we wanna try and make things work. We are moving away 150 mile away to where he comes from n where his family live. Although i am leaving my friends and family behind but i am determind to make my marriage work. I suppose in a way i have seen what i could of lost and it terrifies me. I just hope i haven't ruined it already as dh hasn't been his normal self since although he is trying.
Guess i hoping to hear that ppl have been though this sort of thing and come thru the other side. I'm hoping its a case of time heals..!!

[Hattie05]

The question has to be if you wanted to be with other men, how much do you really want this relationship to work?
And also what is going on in his head to want to tell you to go with other men in the first place, was it fantasy? or was he testing you? - hence the ring first rule, so he could tell you no don't do it.

Dodgy ground if you ask me and i think you both need to decide what your relationship is about.

[curvybebe]

I do want our relationship to work i really do. Guess me going for other men was just a pathetic way of boosting my self confidence. As for him allowing me he did find it a turn on, but sometimes i did feel as if i would prefer him to show some jealousy... I do agree we do have to sort our relationship out hoping the move will do this...

[gigglinggoblin]

open relationships can work if you are both completely happy with whats happening. sounds to me like you agreed on rules and then broke them, so in my eyes that is every bit as bad as cheating. not been through it myself but lots of people do get over things like this (and worse - at least it was only a one off). if you are both committed to making it work things should heal fine. good luck