Possible risk to my newborns health via very selfish friend

[ambersmummy68]

My friend is off to Nigeria to see her partners family, she is pregnant and cannot get pretection again diseases in her condition. she refuses to postpone travelling til next year. Her midwife and doctor have advised against her travelling. anyway, when she returns in 2 weeks time she wants to visit us, including our newborn baby

First thing would be to speak to your midwife and do some research yourself. If it turns out that she will present a risk to your baby, then best to just advise her of this and tell her when she will be able to visit you.

Speak to your own doctor, get some professional advice. You have the right to not allow her in your home, but you need to find out how rational this action is. You can get great advice on MN, but you really do need to speak to someone with certifiable medical knowledge to know for sure if there are any risks.

What diseases do you think she might have that she could pass on to your baby?

I would mention it to my health visitor and see what she says, I understand your concerns, it's a mother's instinct to protect her children!! I'm sure if she was a real friend you should be able to talk to your friend directly about your concerns, after all you have being a mother in common!!

You know though that it is fine, don't you? It sounds like you are more angry that you think she has put her own baby at risk, and maybe that has made you feel a bit emotional and angry? Because deep in your rational mind you know that as long as she isn't ill with anything, that she is fine to visit your newborn. Half the people you saw at the hospital when you had the baby - domestics, cleaners, midwives, assistants, doctors... will have recently been to a developing country. Lots and lots of people you pass in the streets, who serve you in shops, make your food in restaurants, make formula milk in factories, will have just been to a developing country. That isn't a health risk in and of itself.

TB and diptheria are the two that could be passed on, I have checked, risk to newborn before baby is a few months old.

For the record, im not angry with her at all. Just concerned for my baby IF she comes back with one of the things I have mentioned.

I think you are being Precious, but fair enough, since this new baby stuff is pretty over-whelming.

Just keep yourself busy for the first 3-4 months after she's back. By then your baby should be immunised for diptheria and if friend's got TB she'll know it and have been treated.

What about other people who might have something you or the baby could catch but haven't been to Nigeria?

Someone in the supermarket, a friend who has another friend who has something contagious but didn't know...

you think she wont know if she has diptheria or TB?? Odd and precious, and you dont care if her or her newborn get ill, just the risk to yours, nice friend you are!

To be fair macdoodle, the friend is the one going to Nigeria while pregnant, her health is her responsibility, not OP's, whereas OP's DC's health is her own responsibility. Yes it is possible to have TB without knowing, in the early stages. OP is right to be concerned, and to want to know more about any potential risks.

I don't think she'd have diptheria and not know it though, would she, unless she is coming from the airport to your house? And TB sadly is in this country as well as overseas.

Not everyone in Nigeria is poverty stricken and disease-ridden, and I've never heard of them leaving the country in pregnancy. Besides, did your friend get a BCG? If so she is immune to TB, so can't infect anyone else.

I think same rules apply to her as they do anyone - don't visit a newborn if you feel poorly yourself. Other than that I don't really get why she's a huge risk. The biggest disease risks in visiting sub-Saharan Africa are passed on via sex or local mosquitoes, and neither can apply to your baby.

please, get a grip!

Just tell her that you don't want her to come visit! If she has been advised against travelling by her doctor and midwife, then she knows that there are dangers attached to her trip and you are perfectly within your rights to tell her you can't see her. It can't come as a surprise to her.

And I do think you need to chill a bit! Has her partner been to Nigeria recently? He might have contracted TB and passed it on to her without her ever travelling to the country. Or you might pick something up from your sister/cousin/neighbour who have never been out of the UK but work next to someone with Swine Flu/chicken pox/any number of other horrid diseases.