Feel like I'm on a downward spiral

[LonesomeTonight]

Namechanger here...didn't know whether to post in this forum but it's the one I use most.

I don't think I am coping very well at the moment. My H left me 6 months ago and we are sharing custody of DD. When she's around I am managing things OK but when she's not (like this weekend) I am just drinking too much and eating crap and have started smoking again after 6 years' complete abstinence. I had some time off work recently and my GP has referred me for counselling but I am still waiting for an appointment. She advised me to 'be kind to myself' and this is going round my head but I don't know how. I just reach for the wine when I am alone. I am dreading next weekend when I am going to a very close friend's wedding where my H will be.

I don't know how to stop being self-destructive. I can't sleep at night unless I've had a drink to blot out all the shit whirling round my brain. I just want to fast-forward my life to a point in time where I don't feel so sad and abandoned.

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

Please don't beat yourself up, you've been through a tough time. Have you spoken to your friends about how you are feeling?

I think you have to accept that this is how you feel right now - I'm there too. Things will get better as your confidence grows and you start to function again. It's one step at a time.

I want to fast forward too but know it won't happen. It won't always be like this.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's only been six months - comfort eating/drinking/smoking at this stage sounds completely normal to me. Whatever it takes to get you through at the moment. Can you start planning nice things to do when your daughter's away e.g. Evenings out with friends, long country walks, watching a box set of DVDs, pottering round markets, swimming - whatever is your thing.

I'm going through the same kind of thing but am generally avoiding the booze. H left in March for OW. My GP and work said to be kind to myself as well.

I had my hair done, botox, massages, laser eye surgery, joined the gym and took up modern jive. Am 49 and was only doing what I should have done years ago, took out a loan to cover the costs.

Looked better after 5 weeks off work doing the above things but those "treats" I had were a real effort to do. Cried my eyes out at the massages, being touched set me off, but kept going until I could have a massage without tears. Did help though, work told me to think of it as nurturing myself.

Still get very upset and some weeks do nothing and that's okay, you have to spend some time feeling awful in between the times where you feel a bit better, don't try and force yourself to get out of every bad stage, just go with it sometimes.

I stopped smoking 10 years ago and have started with an electronic cig since it happened, meant to be healthier but am pretty much addicted now, so think it's natural to turn to vices to get you through.

I heard a saying the other day which helps me:

"Everything will be alright in the end, if it isn't alright, it isn't the end"

Oh gosh. I posted this pissed and then went to bed and completely forgot about it. Thanks all for your lovely replies, I am feeling a lot more stable now - just having a bad couple of days. You are all ace xxx