dh and I may be splitting up

[cinderella2]

My dh and I are on the brink of splitting up. We have a ds and a dd (4 and 1 3/4). I never expected to be in this position and I'm very worried about what it will do to the children. Also, I don't know what my entitlements are and where I stand. I am a sahm. There is no one at the moment that is able to look after the children if I go back to work (mortgage!!). Has anyone got any advice please?

cinderella i split up with dp about a year ago and my kids were 6 and 4 and i was 5 mths pregnant with no.3. we didint have a mortgage as rent our home but the tenancy was in my names so i stayed with the kids in the home and he moved out so cant help on that part,sorry.My kids are no worse off than they were when he was here, if any thing they are better and life now is so much more relaxed after the stress of the split things are calming down and im glad of the decision to separate. your kids are quite young still so you may find that they adapt not too badly, keep strong your in the right place for all the help and support you could possibly ask for.
Take care of you and yours{{{big hugs{}}}}}

thanks loobie - I just feel like I'm letting everybody down - kids, family - but I don't honestly think dh and I can live together anymore - the arguements are getting too much and it affects the kids.

Cinderella - as for it effecting the children I am sure at their ages they will adapt quite well - just try to make things as easy as possible and ensure that they still get to see both of you.

You are not letting anyone down - no one would expect you to live your life being unhappy - that is not living just existing. When I first split up with my husband I was ashamed - I felt like a bit of a floosie -not sure why - but you soon realise that there are far more divorcees out there than you thought there was and no one really takes any notice ot it.

Above all you being happy is the best thing for your child - if you ever need to talk about it go right ahead - I have had great advice about everything on Mumsnet and could not have got through what I have had to without all the lovely people here.

As for the legal stuff - get a good solicitor as soon as you can - I am sure if you are a SAHM you will be able to get legal aid. And don't say that you don't need a solicitor as you are both being amicable - things may change and you have to get the best deal for you and your babies.

Things will seem so hard in the beginning but there is light at the end of that long tunnel and you will feel a huge weight lifted when it is all over - if that is the path you decide to take.

Good luck xxx

Cinderella2 - Sorry to hear your news. I can only offer you advice relating to a friend of mine who is in a similar situation. Your dh is legally obliged to provide for you in one way or another. There is nothing that scares a bloke more than money so i would get onto the CSA and citizens advice to find out where you stand asap. My friend put in a claim to CSA and they're not very quick about sorting things out so do it soon as. The social should help towards mortgage which should ease part of the burden. As for your children i'm sure they'll be better and happier living in an argument, stressfree household although i can appreciate your concerns. Contact a solicitor too.