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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex with DP is so awkward and difficult

14 replies

BeingAnAlex · 11/08/2010 11:53

Dp sometimes finds it difficult to obtain/maintain an erection so during foreplay he's constantly wanking himself to try and get it up. I find this quite off-putting to start with but there's other stuff too. He sometimes asks me to get on all fours so he can get a hard on, it makes me feel like shit to think this is the only way I can turn him on. He tries to put the condom on a floppy penis, everyone knows it has to be hard first, right? I've told him this and so now he just does it when he thinks I'm not looking. Then as soon as he gets it up he jumps on me and gets on with it before it goes down again. It just feels so awkward and forced and I'm finding myself less and less turned on the more we have sex like this. The other day we were messing around with foreplay, he kept stopping to fiddle with himself which was really frustrating to start with and then all I did was ask him to quickly plug in the laptop wire (it was right next to him) before it shut down with my work unsaved and that was it, hard on disapeared, no sex, highly frustrated me and I got the full blame as I'd "distracted" him. Why the hell should he need 100% attention to keep it up? I find it so annoying and off putting.

OP posts:
hobbgoblin · 11/08/2010 11:57

I would never ask DP to plug in the laptop wire whilst getting it on. If he had erection problems I double definitely wouldn't do so. Confused

He needs to see GP or you could go for sex/relationship counselling. (Just read an article on this in Psycholgies mag)

hobbgoblin · 11/08/2010 11:58

I think you are being quite mean actually. This isn't a slight against you - he has a problem.

themildmanneredjanitor · 11/08/2010 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aleene · 11/08/2010 12:01

This is a difficult situation for you and him. The more he worries about his erection the more chance is that it will disappear.

Is he a smoker or heavy drinker? These things can affect men.

Sounds like you need to back off from having full sex just now and just concentrate on other things. Trouble is you need to talk to him about this and devise a plan together, otherwise he won't have a clue what is going on. Can you talk about this issue? You need to be sensitive about this as he is most likely feeling shit about it.

DuelingFanjo · 11/08/2010 12:03

Welcome to mumsnet. Confused

I suspect we are being trolled.

SirBoobAlot · 11/08/2010 12:03

You're being quite harsh on him - though I understand you must be quite frustrated by it. How long has this been going on for? Has he spoken to the doctor? Here is some infomation on erectile dysfunction.

EekaSqueaka · 11/08/2010 12:04

Has it always been like this? How old is he?

Probably would have been fairer not to create distraction given his problem to be honest.

In what way do you engage with him during foreplay? For example, my partner wouldn't have much opportunity or need to 'wank himself' Blush

MrsReality · 11/08/2010 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobbgoblin · 11/08/2010 12:05

Well I was going to suggest OP get a dog so her partner could look at that on all fours while he tries to shag her but thought I'd give benefit of doubt until OP starts to ask what techniques we use to help our flaccid DPs.

ComedyOfErrors · 11/08/2010 12:05

How long have you known him?

I had an ex who had difficulty maintaining an erection, and he eventually told me he had suffered from depression since a teenager. I've always thought there might have been a link.

I'm not saying your dp is depressed - just that this problem could be a symptom of something else?

EekaSqueaka · 11/08/2010 12:05

OFGS!!

Didn't spot that one Grin

ComedyOfErrors · 11/08/2010 12:09

i fall for it every time Blush

Malificence · 11/08/2010 13:13

Even though this is trolltastic - has no-one heard of cock rings? Problem solved.

RumourOfAHurricane · 11/08/2010 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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