What makes a decent friend?

[poshsinglemum]

I've got some good friends and some not such good friends. TBH I have come to acknowledge that even our best friends can hurt us sometimes as they are only human. I still feel that women are too competetive to completely avoid the bitching that goes on.
So what makes a good friend and how can I find and cultivate them.
I've recently fallen foul of a few friends who have turned out to be anything but. One women was positively vile on my birthday and then carried on as though nothing happened. Another friend makes snide comments. I could go on. Do I have wek boundaries?

I think you're right in that everyone has the ability to hurt us. But I'd say that a true friend would never intentionally hurt you, would always be there to support you when needed, would share a similar sense of humour and would be able to be honest.

And my experience disagrees with your opinion that women are too competitive to avoid bitching. I have three very close female friends who I have known for 30, 28 and 17 years, and none of them has ever been bitchy or competitive with me.

I think a good friendship takes a long time to cultivate.

What do you expect from a friendship? Is it ok that a friend makes snide comments? Any examples?

Do you have acquaintances rather than good friends? Who do you call when the shit hits the fan and can depend upon?

I dont know that you can actively find and cultivate them tbh.

I would say a good friend is someone who listens, remembers things that are important to you, isnt afraid to speak or hear the truth and mostly someone you can trust.

I dont think you get generally get many true great friends in life. I would say I had 2 at school, 3 at uni, 1 mummy friend so far and Im 29. Obviously lots of other friends but theyre the ones Id rely on. am still friends with them all.

Trust.

I do not waste my time with people who betray that trust. I would not stay friends with the kind of friends you have described.

Posh I tinhk a best friend (ie a true friend) would not deliberately hurt us, and would apologise if they knew they had hurt us accidentally.

I am ruthless as dropping friends if they turn out not to be trustworthy or seem to want to hurt me. Snide comments would fall into that category.