so after calling our 4 yo this evening my ex asked her

[oohbehave]

to pass on a message to me asking me to get off the mortgage! it's laughable at best, but also completefly fucked up. What the hell does he think he's doing?!

Talk to your solicitor, and give your ex a clear message you will only communicate through the solicitor. He is not to use your daughter.

did you overhear, or did your 4 yr old accurately relay the message? if the latter, take some comfort that you have a genius child.

also, make it clear that it isn't acceptable.

my ex does this, has done for the last 4 years. I have taught my daughter that all arrangements need to be made with me and she can ignore any sentence that starts with "tell mummy". It backfires on him more, because he makes arrangements with her and thinks they will happen, and I ignore anything he says that doesn't drop in my inbox. He still hasn't learnt though.

my mum overheard him, DD tried to remember it,managed to repeat 'mortgage' back to him but surprisingly did not manage to relay the message to me.
I have a solicitors appointment on Friday but was absolutely shocked that he would think that was okay to do. I'm glad she's not older, can you imagine how that would be for an older child?! what a moron