So, erm, do you "like" your kids all the time then?

[tightwad]

Do you?

no

of course not

God no. Especially right now. Go to bed you little buggers!

No, all 3 of mine drive me nuts at time.

But I don't dislike them the way I dislike other people. It's always momentary and fleeting as I love them to bits.

Was wondering if i need to go to Docs for some Ads cos i am struggling to "get on" with ds.
I was thinking he was hard work but perhaps its me not coping.

No.
Tell us more. How old is he and why are you feeling this way etc.

he is 7 has always been hard work, never slept thru till he was nearly 5 etc
At the mo, he is hyper all the time, screams out, shouts out for no reason, he has to mess with stuff all of the time, he is impulsive and he is incapable of sitting still.
he is an extreme to his peers and to friends kids the same age. Until recently we were unable to leave him in a room alone because he is so destructive and would just wreck stuff.

Ive been feeling very down with it, its relentless, day in day out.

school say he does not have any special needs but that he is the boy who cant sit still, he is constantly in trouble at school for his behaviour. he is very challenging.

my patience is very short, and i have found myself wanting to get in the car and just drive off, into a tree preferably some days.

thining about foster care for him, jsut on the wave length of negativity, extreme negativity.

Tonight, we have had lovely cuddles, and have had a gorgeous chat about his little day, i have felt quite peaceful with him and my thoughts are clear. I can tell he tried his best to be restarined...so i was OTT with the praise and piled on the compliments.

we waited for years to have him, cant have any more kids, but tbh, i cant cope with the one ive got, so dont deserve another anyway.

Bieng a good parent is SO fucking hard.

Being a good enough parent is where it's at.

Are you getting any outside help? Have you a local surestart centre for example?

Have you seen your GP? You are obviously finding things very hard indeed. Can you pinpoint whether you might be struggling with depression?

i love my children more than air.
but quite frankly i am more than happy to wave them off to their dad once a fortnight.

Firstly, of course you deserve him. It sounds like he's hard work (some kids just are) but it doesn't make you a bad mum.

When you say that school says he does not have any special needs, who has actually assessed this? By that I mean has someone qualified to make a diagnosis either way had a look at him or is that just the teacher's POV?
I'm not suggesting he does have any kind of SN but as a teacher, I would never presume to tell a parent either way.

Perhaps ask school if the Ed Pych can assess him for some kind of ADHD. If he truly cannot control his behaviour then you both need help. Good luck!

Oh I don't think things will always feel this way.
I know that I go through phases with one of my children abd that things have been hard for a while but then our relationship has improved.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Being a parent IS hard and I'm sure you're doing a cracking job
Would it be worth looking outside of school for some support with his behaviour? Maybe a chat with your GP could be a good starting place.

Good, God No!!!

Tightwad, does your son have ADHD - my son (now 21) did/does and was incredibly hard work - there were days I wanted to just dump him on the roadside and drive off. He did all the things your son did and was utterly awful to his sister. I would see the GP. My son took medication for five years, but we had to fight tooth and nail for this. It did help. They do get better as they get older, honest.

And I hope no one is saying or implying to you like people did with me that it was "bad parenting". It's not. I bet you are doing a great job.

Aaah. Tbh it sounds familiar, although DS(8) is a bit less work in that I am not afraid he'll wreck the room if left alone. But he's also hyperactive, argues with adults, is often negative about stuff, overly sensitive, loves blaming others for everything,is impulsive...nothing's ever simple with him. He's doing very well academically speaking at school, but has almost no friends as his behaviour doesn't endear him to others. Also teachers complain he doesn't sit still, talks and he did a couple of pranks that, well, were beyond what you would consider appropriate

So, yes, there are times when I feel like I hate him-even though I know, deep inside, that I don't iyswim. There are also times when I look at him and my heart swells.

Tbh, I wonder whether a child psychologist may be an answer- just to have him assessed-not necessarily because he's got any serious disorder- but perhaps it's better to look into thinks earlier rather than later. When he'll get to teenage years, it'll be more difficult.

I would say that your feelings are totally normal- you've got a challenging child and it's not easy for you. I wouldn't feel guilty, but I would try to find a way to understanding him better via a child therapist- actually it's something I've been thinking about myself- really to make DS's life easier in the future.

better to look into things*

No, not at all - and they don't like me all the time either. I think it's very important for a child to understand that I know that while they always love me, they won't always like me, and that's fine and normal. And vice versa.

tightwad - have you talked to your GP? Schools don't always get it right - there might well be more support you can access. To be brutally frank, you should be able to leave your average 7 year old in a room without fear of destruction.

But please please don't beat yourself up about the fact he's a handful - none of my four DC are remotely similar in personality, and that's not my doing, that's just how they've ended up. All you can do is your best, and you're doing the right things by praising the good behaviour.

I have nothing against The Baby.

have no outside help, i dont think that my pil can cope with him, they show absolutely no interest anyway.

my family dont want to know.

DH is ace with him, he is the most calm, loving dad and adores ds but he gets mad with ds as well.

My family all think there is something wrong with ds, so i keep him away from them all, they are not kind, not tolerant and are nasty. not helpful at all.

He is much much easier as he gets older, i have to admit, but i get like this, very negative.

He (in my opinion) is jsut lovely, helpful, bright, sweet, funny and high maintenance. Not interested in electronic things that all of his peers have (nintendo thingies etc) as he just cant concentrate on them.
He will now watch scooby doo all the way through, until recently he was unable to watch an entire cartoon all the way through.

Normal but different behaviour i think.

No.

I love them all equally but dd(5) is really trying me atm. If things don't go her way she is horrendous.

so we make sure we do tons of activities with him, bike rides etc, keep him busy

winnybella...think we may have the same child.
Makes my heart ache that he has no friends, but he alienates everyone so is his own worst enemy.
So makes me want to cry when all the other kids are playing on park together, but my DS is left out because of his behaviour. Feel for you

But seriously, not being able to leave him in a room for fear of destruction- I really, really would consider seeing a child psychologist. And the fact that he can't concentrate very well. It can only be helpful to you and him, imho.