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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Moving on

13 replies

ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 18:18

Ok, everyone. I have posted on threads about my problems ad finitum. Even SGB and Mal have been 'telling me off'...Blush

How does anyone finish things? I mean how do you finally decide enough is enough? I am really struggling with the situation. We haven't been intimate for over 9 years, she won't tell me why, and she seems to think that if anyone should go it's me. She doesn't even like the house FGS!! Joint mortage which is paid up next September.

It may seem a bit wimpish, but I feel scared to leave, maybe because I have never been in this situation before...Blush

Met OH on a blind date, (actually didn't go to second date..long story), made up and after 10 months together got married. I was 19 and she was 17, nearly 18. Now been married nearly 34 years. But the last nine years she has lived in a world of her own. She has been more confident which is great, good for her. But, no kisses, cuddles and def no sex!! I feel that we are wasting our lives, but feel sick when I think of parting.

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 18:20

have you spoken to her about your potential plans ?

does she want to save your relationship ?

if she doesn't, then just leave and find yourself somewhere else to live

do you have dc ?

TheCrackFox · 10/08/2010 18:28

Have you thought about going to Relate? Not to salvage the relationship (TBH there sounds no point) but so you can part on amicable terms.

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 18:30

AF,

spoken lots of time with nothing resolved. i really don't know if she is bothered, and our kids are 26 and 23 so not really a factor

thanks for replying though

Perhaps I am being a bit of a saddo at the moment. Sometimes I think that as I get on in life, I luckily shouldn't have long to go....Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 18:32

TCF, she won't go to relate, so I guess she isn't really bothered.

She seems happier with her sisters and friends so perhaps I am an annoyance?

Anyway, I just wanted to have a whinge so I don't mind if this thread now dies the death

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 10/08/2010 18:34

You can go to Relate by yourself - they could help you come to terms with the end of your relationship and help you plan your new life.

Good luck. x

AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 19:15

ok, I am remembering more of your previous posts now

just leave

why ever not ?

there is a lovely lady out there...waiting to snap you up

and you are a long time dead !

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 20:05

AF, if only..lol

I am the sort of bloke no woman would look at twice...Blush

just wanted to rant...

just ignore me

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 20:17

no, we bloody won't ignore you

you do this every so often, dontcha

post on here (and elsewhere....?) saying how unhappy you are and looking for some sympathy

then backing off and playing all sad and martyrish

if you are always this passive-agressive in RL, you must be a bloody 6mare to live with...

now I mean that kindly (honestly)

if you are unhappy, take proper steps

if you are not prepared to do that then stay put and stay miserable

it's your call

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 20:58

AF, sorry if I sound needy.

Don't mean to be needy and martyish!

never passive /aggressive but whatever!

sorry for posting, what a waste of a thread eh~?

just forget it, and seriously I mean it.

jesus, what a tosser....too much alcohol maybe?

moving on......Smile

I promise never to post again, then no-one can accuse me of doing wrong can they?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 21:08

oh shut up

you are doing it again

and your last post is an absolute textbook gem of a PA response to being challenged

why ask for advice if you are just going to say "ignore me...what a waste of a thread" ?

it isn't a "waste of a thread" if you would actually listen and think that any of it could possibly apply to you

< to any lurkers going Shock at me, this bloke has a phD in feeling sorry for himself, and I have posted many times, as have others, with sympathy >

Original poster
ineedabodytransplant · 10/08/2010 21:09

Apologies to all. My last post sounded like I am a real tosser

I am not, and I wish I hadn't even started the thread.

I wish everyone on Mumsnet the best, honestly, and although I personally will never post again I hope that AF, SGB, Mal etc will continue to give their sage advice

I wish you all well

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 21:15

< sigh >

INABT, start another thread and no more apologies

just post from the heart and ask for advice and at least look like you are listening

I promise I won't reply on that one and you will get some sympathy

because I think that is all you want really

all the best x

FWIW...when you post on other threads in response to others you sound like a nice bloke

armbow · 10/08/2010 21:22

you sound so unhappy

what is it you want to happen ?

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