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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My Marriage Is Officially O.V.E.R.

6 replies

SaggyHairyArse · 10/08/2010 09:06

The title pretty much sums it up. I told DH that our marriage is over last night, put my opening gambit on the table and he is going to get back to me about when he is going to move out.

I have posted under two aliases before as have had a real dilemma about how and when to call time on my marriage (SAHM, no income, youngest at home til next September, DH self-employed etc etc). Well last week I went to see a Lone Parent Advisor at the Job Centre and they were ever so helpful and spelt things out in black and white much clearer than CAB/solicitor etc.

I absolutely have no problem with working but it is how to afford the childcare for 1 chid full time and 2 childrens wraparound care, they explained all about claiming childcare costs back via tax credits and entitlements etc and they did not treat me like pond life.

So last night I told DH that we were both unhappy and things were not going to improve (he is an alcoholic and has not/will not stop drinking) and that our children deserve not to be brought up in a home with an alcoholic parent.

I am hoping that he will have moved out by the end of the month.

A side issue is that I still have very strong feelings for my ex and I did get a flaming for that in a previous thread, and rightly so as obviously to complicate thigns with another man would not be the way to go. But I can now explain that the emotional history is that we had a baby together but he had lots of abnormalities and I lost the baby at 23 weeks, hence why I do care for this other man and always will.

So, that's all folks, I am ever the optimist, onwards and upwards and all that.

OP posts:
mrsPrudent · 10/08/2010 09:10

SHA I am really sorry to hear this, but glad at the same time that you have had the strength to do it.

Fwiw I think you are right, and sensible, and very competent, and that you will be alright.

Big hugs, dear. (it's F. A.)

TDiddy · 10/08/2010 09:20

sorry to hear about this. You sound quite strong and focussed....maintaining control is very important so good start and best wishes.

AnyFucker · 10/08/2010 10:04

All the best x

ladylush · 10/08/2010 10:23

Sorry to hear about the baby you lost Sad Sorry also about your marriage ending - even though it sounds as if that's the best outcome.

SaggyHairyArse · 10/08/2010 10:28

FA, I did appreciate your input in my previous threads. I am a 'tell it how it is' person and do like the direct approach ;-)

Thanks for replying ladies x

OP posts:
mrsPrudent · 10/08/2010 13:14

Oh golly, I hope I wasn't too direct! Blush I can't remember now. I am not always tactful!

lots of love x

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