What is gaslighting?

[Greensleeves]

??

it is a term based on a play, can't remeber which.

Basically it is when a partner or close 'loved one' convinces you that events or instances have happended when they have not. Mental abuse. In the play the man keeps convincing his wife i think that things are awry until she commits suicide. Sure someone else will be along with better explanation soon.

From the 1944 Gaslight ( no I don't remember)
The DH convinces his DW that she is mentally iill and need to be institutionalised'

The term is taken from a film called Gaslight, an old black and white one from 1944 with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer and it's on Youtube, write "Gaslight 1944" into the search bar, it's in about 12 parts.
It's definately worth watching if you suspect you have been privy to this form of emotional abuse, to remind yourself "No, I am NOT crazy!" :)

I've been thru it and it is a very insidious way of making you doubt your "hunches", undermnining you, criticism, until you don't know what's right or wrong any more.

If you google the word, you get a wealth of information on it, well worth checking out!

Him: You're late!
You: Sorry, it's only a few minutes.
Him: You said half past seven, now it's five past eight!
You: I must have said eight, it's in my diary
[He did say eight]

You: OMG the car's been stolen!
Him: It's in for a service, I told you last week.
You: No, I would have remembered, I've got an interview this morning!
Him: I told you, you said you'd get a bus.
You: No, I'd have remembered, I've missed the bus now!
[He didn't tell you; he booked the service after you told him about the interview]

You: What kept you out so late last night?
Him: Last night?
You: I heard you come in at 2am ...
Him: No, I was back by 10, you were asleep on the sofa.
You: ???
Him: Haha, you must have dreamt it.
[You were asleep in bed; he came in at 2]

Him: STOP SHOUTING AT ME!
You: Shouting?
Him: YOU'RE ALWAYS SHOUTING, IT'S RUINING OUR MARRIAGE!
You: OMG, what have I done to upset you?
[Nothing you did, and you weren't shouting]

Him: Can you get those burgers out of the freezer?
You: Umm, there aren't any burgers ...
Him: Yes, I bought a pack the other day. Look, here's the receipt.
You: Wonder where they've gone? The kids had pasta last night.
Him: You must have eaten them ...
[Believe it or not, this one's quite common!]

Him: Where did you put DD's hockey stick?
You: Haven't seen it since Saturday's match.
Him: Well it's not in the hall, and she needs it today.
You: Are you sure you brought it back on Saturday?
Him: Yes, I remember putting it in the car.
[You turn house & car inside out ...]
You: Are you SURE you brought it back?
Him: YES OF COURSE, I TOLD YOU I REMEMBER! You had the car last, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE HOCKEY STICK?!
[True story - the stick was at the sports centre, of course]

If you're an East Enders fan: It's what Nick & Dotty did to Dot Cotton last year. They look like small things: "lost" keys and "forgotten" appointments, etc; but mount up until you really don't know your own mind.