Relate

[onelastchance]

I'm thinking of suggesting dh and i go to relate, as you might have seen from my other thread.

It might be hard for us to find childcare every week, Can you have fortnightly appts?

Hi onelastchance, I read your other thread and would not advise you go to Relate because of your partner's emotional abuse.

Here is a thread I posted a little while ago about whether it's a good idea to go to couples counselling if one partner is abusive: no one thought it would be a good idea:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/990274-Want-to-separate-from-emotionally-abusive-partner-but-don-39

Thanks Malinkey. I understand your comments but i really don't think he means to be unkind, alot of the things he does are very good. I need to know i've tried everything before giving up

Hi onelast - would you consider phone counselling? Relate offer this and it is currently only £20 an hour rather than usual £45 due to some gov funding. We have weekly phone sessions and there is no travel time involved hence cheaper for childcare. Our counsellor says she can do as good work with a couple over phone as face to face. It is well worth considering as so much easier cost and babysitting wise.

I understand you want to work things out onelastchance but from reading your other thread it really doesn't sound like your partner wants to work things out at all. And you both need to be open to doing counselling together for it to work.

Yes it does sound like a lot of the things that he does are good but it also sounds like a lot of things he does - or doesn't do - are just bad. And the good just doesn't make up for the other stuff. Sorry.

Yes i really do want to work things out and i think in his own way he does. A friend of mine has an xh with aspergers and dh shows some of these traits, which may contrubute to the problem - ie lack of empathy, trouble showing feelings, inapproriate behaviour

onelastchance - DH and I are in relate and we go fortnightly. You can go as often or not as you want, and the cost is a sliding scale depending on how much you earn.
They are your sessions, to use as you see fit. I agree that you need to feel you have explored every avenue to save your marriage.
For us, it's been a great help. We have had a brilliant woman working with us who has really helped us to understand where the other one is coming from.
Bear in mind though, that there might be quite a time lapse between your first consultation and your appointments, as they will have to wait for a free slot. The more days/evenings/weekend options you can give them, the quicker you'll get a slot.

I recently had a break up and came on here to find some help.

Its good to talk about problems with others. Sometimes its hard to talk to people you dont know face to face.