Concerned re close friends new relationship, are they valid? Or am I over thinking it?

[minxofmancunia]

Just cos she's been hurt so many times, don't want it to happen again...although obviously not going to interfere, difficult one.

So far she's told me;

He's 38 and lives with his parents because he's waiting for his "big break" (apparently he's a music producer)

Doesn't drink at all as he can't just have one but really quite vague about this (fair enough if he's got the insight to recognise this and has recovered but it all seems a bit unclear)

Told her he was in love with her after 3 weeks

(and this is the biggie)

Went ape with her after she went out for a coffee with a male friend so now she doesn't "rub his face in it" ie still meets male friends but lies about it/doesn't tell him.

They have been together 3 months.

Would any of this ring alarm bells for anyone else??

Yes. Big alarm bells at the going ape bit.

BUT she's a big girl and makes her own decisions. All you can do is prompt her to think about whether this behaviour fits in mutually respectful relationship.

the last one would.

The rest not necessarily - dh told me he loved me within a week and we're still together fifteen years on.

Not drinking not a big deal imho and if he's a recovering alcoholic he may not feel confident telling her that yet.

the last one is not good

the hanging around for sometime never for the big break isn't great in the long-term, but not a red flag. the going ape one would be the red flag for me.

They have been together 3 months?

Hope it doesn't make it to 4....

She needs to kick his sorry arse as far as she can.... still living with M&D at 38? Waiting for his big break.... Ain't gonna happen...

That one has serial killer written all over him...

It rings alarm bells for me, particularly the bit about him going ape about her meeting a friend who happened to be male.

Also, I never trust a man who lives with his parents over the age of 30. Whatever the excuses, he's gonna have issues.

I would worry about a guy still living at home at 38 "waiting for his big break". I'm 49, still waiting for my big break as an author, but in the meantime I work my butt off, bring up a family and pay my fair share of bills! A 38 yr old who doesn't want his woman to have a coffee with a male friend? Tell your mate to run like the wind....