Sorry this could be a bit long! My ex and I split up about 2 months ago now and are living in the same house for the time being. We had agreed that he would take a week off work (he is self employed) to have ds for one week in the summer holidays and that I would take off a couple of weeks. He promised ds (who is 5) that he would take him camping as he has never been. He is now saying that he wants to take him to Ibiza for 5 days. I fully appreicate that he is entitled to take him away for a holiday and would not look to stop him but I do have major concerns. He has NEVER had him for more than a few hours on his own. If he ever has him he gravitates towards family .. taking him round there so he isnt looking after him alone. I have only ever spent one night away from ds and he hasn't slept away from home without me. I admit I am a bit of a control freak but I don't have a problem with him having him per se but I do panic at the thought of him being so far away from home as a first time away. I cannot imagine my ex doing the day to day things I do .. like remember to put suntan lotion on him, stay out of sun at hottest time of day, put him to bed at a reasonable time (obviously way later than usual as he would be on holiday), keep an eye on him the whole time he is by a pool etc rather than being distracted by his phone/on facebook. I appreciate he has to learn at some point but surely building up by days out and a night or two away in the UK would be preferable. That way if anything happened they are hours away rather than a flight!
I know I probably sound unreasonable but he had ds for 4 hours on saturday morning and came back saying "i dont know how i am going to cope with him on my own he is a nightmare and everything has to be about him 24/7". This is totally unfair as ds is actually quite good but if you expect him to drive around in a van going from job to job with his dad he isnt going to be particularly happy! My ex has never learnt the whole art of "distraction" thing or seen the need to take reading/drawing stuff along for restaurants etc as he expects him to fit in around him more often than not. I can see him getting on a plane with no toys/dvds etc and expect him to behave. The truth is that he knows ds wants to go camping and has said he would like to go for 3 days but ex wants to go abroad! I appreciate he has to work out for himself how to deal with him but I dont want ds to have to be the butt of the problems that will come with it as he does. Ds does not know we have split as such but it is becoming more apparent as his dad is around less and less and subsequently is becoming more clingy with me!
I guess what I am asking is whether you think I am being neurotic and unreasonable ... rl friends all think it is madness for him to take him abroad so soon.