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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help - my daughter is suffering because of her Father

3 replies

Gamonator · 05/08/2010 13:58

My daughter will be 3 in September and this year the poor little thing has had to cope with her parents separating. We are currently sharing care week on week of whilst we go through the court system. She gets more and more distressed each time I leave her with her father and there doesn't seem to be any professional body out there to help. Her father is doing everything to paint me as a bad person but I assure you I am just a normal mother who wants to be with her daughter. He has hardly spent anytime with our daughter since she was born as he was always working late and then involved with another woman until I finally took the plunge and suggested we separate. Social Services are unable to get involved but my daughter is being brainwashed when she is away from me and clams up if any of her fathers family are mentioned. Has anyone else been through a custody (residency as its now called) battle that can offer some support or advice. When he is supposed to be spending time with our daughter he is palming her off with his family and carrying on his new life with his new lady. I don't mind the new relationship but I desperately need to build bridges between my daughter and her father as I hate having to pass her to him when she gets so distressed but am forced by the court system to do so.
Any help for a single mum in desperate need would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 05/08/2010 14:05

ask GP to refer you and her (and maybe involve her dad) to family therapist.

family therpaist using play therapy would be able to tease out the issues.

lazarusb · 05/08/2010 14:55

See your GP as soon as you can. Horrible situation for you both

LucyLouLou · 05/08/2010 14:58

Does he really want to take her? I'm trying to figure out where his motivation is. If he's simply trying to hurt you and has little real interest in your DD (which sounds sort of likely) then I'm afraid he's probably going to keep poisoning your DD's mind as long as he knows it's going to bother you (and of course, it's always going to bother you isn't it?). Poisoning might be a little bit excessive, but your DD clearly is not benefitting from this horrible situation. The problem, as you have identified, is that you are bound legally to stick to this arrangement.

Doctor, CAB, solicitor. Those are the 3 steps I would go for. It's difficult to know what, if anything, can be done quickly, but information is empowerment and you can use all you can get right now.

Best of luck, big hug, and remember there is a lot of support on MN for you if you need it .

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