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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

does this reeeaaaaaalllllyyyy annoy other ppl too????

46 replies

sotiredcantthink · 05/08/2010 00:58

Its prob me im prob weird or something, but i totally cant take it when WH (wanker H) checks out other girls or watches sex on tv. I get really really really annoyed so much that i dont wanna talk to him i dont wanna look at him i dont even wanna sleep with him. We do have trust issues he doesnt trust me AT ALL ie cant even take the bins out on bin day incase i am chatting up the neighbours, i think hes so insecure cz his last wife cheated on him and cz im a lot younger than him?? ( Id NEVER be unfaithful, id sooner end the relationship. )
Back to the main point if i am so untrust worthy and i have live according to his trust issues (basically imprison myself incase i start humping the first bloke i see) then y is he allowed to be hypocritical and check out girls etc? Things he shouts at me for (i sound like a teenager) he does himself! Its so annoying it drives me crazy, he goes through my phones/ emails etc yet his own have a string of girls names who he says he doesnt have contact with (in which case y is he keepin them)??? Iv had enough. But i cant leave him.

Just wanted to rant i suppose feel like crap, God MN is so good can let off steam!!!!!!

Another thing wanted to rant abt (mite aswel do it all at once) is that due to our ongoing 5yr issues i dont want to sleep with him, even if im in the mood i stop myself cz i know our relationship is never gonna change. For example, As hes an insomniac he stays awake all night 'watching tv' hes slept next to me in the same bed abt 5 times in the last 2 yrs. N since the first wk of marriage he stays downstairs all night cz he cant sleep. When he wants sex hel roll on me for ten mins and then gets up and goes back to his tv. Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 05/08/2010 14:47

It's depressing that these women have been so ground down that they can't see a way out of the crap situations they are in. But I don't think the answer to that is to stop trying to make them see it.

needafootmassage · 05/08/2010 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 05/08/2010 16:08

yes, El

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/08/2010 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

sotiredcantthink · 05/08/2010 18:47

No i dont work and im a sahm, cut through my teach first programme for the kids (though now i think it was more cz he didnt want me to carry on rather than the kids needed me at home.)

And by the way there is a light on here but i still cant leave him due to social and cultural reasons it not cz im deluded and think he will change or that i 'love' him. Its purely beyond my control and i am stuck with him!!!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 05/08/2010 18:49

social and cultural reasons?? no way!!

thats just an excuse....you have to face this,its 2010!

Lulumaam · 05/08/2010 18:51

forget social reasons. what cultural reasons could there be?

Gigantaur · 05/08/2010 18:55

your children do not need to be around a man who is so controlling of their mother.
they need to live in a home where all members of the household are respected and treated as equals, not ppossessions.

you need to leave him both for your own sanity, your childrens future emotional wellbeing and his own mental health.

solo · 05/08/2010 19:05

I knew I had to end my first marriage because of the extreme abuse, but it was one person saying it that seemed to flick the switch which made me do it. The wires just needed connecting. So AF has it spot on @ 14:41:03

Igglybuff · 05/08/2010 19:10

sotired you have more control than you think - it's just a case of realising it. yes you'll have to overcome whatever barriers you've formed in your mind, be it cultural reasons, the kids etc etc. Imagine if you did leave. What would happen?

AnyFucker · 05/08/2010 19:40

sotired, I was talking in general terms about "lightbulb moments"

I in no way meant to infer that you were thick, or summat

on the contrary, I think you must be very clever and resourceful to be able to still function in an atmosphere like the one in which you are living

now use that to extricate yourself, please

toomanystuffedbears · 05/08/2010 22:50

I feel for you sotiredcantthink.
What your op described is not annoying, it is vile-and depending on what country you live in- probably illegal as well.

You are being emotionally abused, and held against your will (illegally imprisoned).

That you call it annoying is evidence that your self-esteem is being erroded severely. It is a systematic development of numbing your feelings down to the point where you comply...with any level of rationalization to make it justifiable in your mind. These rationalizations are like saying, "I don't mind-his way is ok for this", or "Well, I can take no for an answer-I don't need that to survive", and "Well, I am essentially irrelevant so there is no point in having feelings on this, let alone expressing them".

These rationalizations are coping mechanisms.

I think the danger to you for long term exposure to such treatment is severe depression which may lead to suicidal thoughts (and the rationalizations for that drip in very slowly).

The obvious, first choice answer is to get away from there, as previously suggested. Can not your family of origin rescue you and your dc, if any, even it is just with the clothes on your back?

But you must remain. It is not a perfect world and things are complicated (must be a seriously tangible threat of death), I understand. Well, I don't fully-I have not been in your circumstances, but you have all my empathy.

Please actively manage your self-esteem to survive. You are an intelligent and worthy human being. Consider venting your toxic frustrations by writing them down then immediately shredding and soaking the paper bits until it is no longer paper; or burning the paper. The destroying of the toxic writing can be therapeutic.

Are you allowed a hobby? A creative outlet can be invaluable. I am a quilter and endorse that wholeheartedly.

Be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with pleasurable things as much as possible. I don't necessarily mean materialistic 'things' (although that wouldn't hurt either), but things like nice music, aroma therapy, nice body lotion, books with positive messages.

'Why does the caged bird sing?'...but you really need to make an exit. Even if it is a five year or ten year plan. Make a plan because it will give you hope. You don't have to write anything down or give any clue that might initiate trouble; just in your mind, even if you know it will never happen. He can not prevent you from thinking about it, and you are under no obligation to tell him everything you are thinking!
If at all possible try to save a bit each month, hidden. Time passes quickly, it will add up.

Oh, and I doubt the insomniac story. That may be a cover for when he's doing his secret stuff.

for you.

sotiredcantthink · 06/08/2010 00:51

Thankyou for all your posts, especially too many stuffed bears, im going to copy your post and save it somewhere so i can read through it when im down, and try to do some of the things you mention! Thankyou, and you are spot on abt the writing, it will help a lot, before i met him i always used to keep a diary, years ago i started to write in my diary abt him, but he found it and since then im scared to write, but i could write and destroy the papers straight away, your right, i can at least think things in my mind and try to occupy with simple things some days i just stare blankly at the tv so doing something, anything may help. Thankyou X

OP posts:
sotiredcantthink · 06/08/2010 00:57

And I just cant leave because it means i have to leave my kids with him (please dont ask why or how that is the actual situation) if i leave him i have to leave my kids, how can i do that i cant do that, so i have no choice but to stay with him.

OP posts:
Dione · 06/08/2010 01:06

Your body is telling you something that your brain and heart don't want to hear. That This Is Over. You don't trust him. He makes you feel bad about being you. He has no principles, just a set of rules that apply to everyone else except him.

That's pants

foureleven · 06/08/2010 09:10

I wish we could know the reason that you would have to leave your children.. I cant imagine what it must be. Have you called Womensaid?

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 06/08/2010 10:46

Are you in the UK?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 06/08/2010 11:21

Is there a legal issue, that you can't take the kids when you go? Or is it that he has threatened you as to what he will do?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 06/08/2010 11:23

Sorry I see you didn't want anyone to ask, but he is just not allowed to keep another person like this, it's against your human rights. You are a person, not a pet or an object, you are entitled to your own life.

EekaSqueaka · 06/08/2010 11:57

SoTired, if you are able to enlighten the people who are trying to support you as to why you can not leave, maybe they will be able to put forward suggestions that are feasible within the parameters of your reality?

If you are feeling isolated in your current scenario, try not to assume your situation is absolutely unique. There will be others who have experienced the same or similar and in all probability are now living happier lives. You aren't alone.

toomanystuffedbears · 06/08/2010 18:00

ElephantsAndMiasmas-well said.

Sotiredcantthink-Glad my post can help. Another thing to consider: Please examine in all honesty and clarity why you think you couldn't leave with your dc. Is this brainwashing/conditioning that you have been subjected to which has left you believing there is no other way? Or are you in a culture where women are indeed second class citizens like something out of the "Godfather"?

You don't need to answer here if you fear the wh will find this thread and cause trouble.

How old are your dc? I can not help but to suggest not having any more with him.

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