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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

pregnancy and possible OH redundancy

3 replies

PinkElephant73 · 04/08/2010 14:19

Just need to vent about lack of support from OH. I am 13 weeks pg with much-wanted DC3 and my OH has just informed me he thinks he will lose his job in the autumn, and according to him this has been in the offing for some time. I would never have got pregnant if I had known he was facing losing his job.

Background - we put off trying for another baby for years for financial reasons as we could not afford for me to leave work/go part-time. (DCs 1 and 2 are now 10 and 8).

OH got a promotion about 18 months ago which made the money situation better and it would be feasible for me to take maternity leave and then go back to work on reduced hours. so last summer we decided to try again, I fell pg this May.

In the last few months OH has not been happy at work and a few weeks ago started talking about possibly looking around for another job. he mentioned a possibility of VR in the autumn but did NOT say at any point it would be compulsory.

in the meantime he has been pushing me to buy a new car, and suggested we go on an expensive holiday next year! He has also said he feels bad that I "have to" go to work as he does not earn enough for me to be a SAHM.

he rang me this morning at 9.30am at work (my first day back after holiday) to ask me if it would be ok if he were to take a £20K pay cut to go to another job WTF?

I just cant believe this is a nearly 40 year old man I am talking about, he is living in a dreamworld. I explained to him that he was asking me to go back to work fulltime with a small baby (and in fact somehow magically increase my salary) if he wanted to "downshift" like this.

I cant believe I waited so long to have this child in hopefully a financially secure situation and now the rug is being pulled out again.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 04/08/2010 14:31

you can't plan for everything. if not redundancy, anything can happen in life. you just gotta deal with it.

depends what starting point is when you talking about a 20k cut! if going from 40 to 20 -big difference - if going from 80 to 60 then not so bad is it?

isnt it better to take cut and good job? or better to take the redundancy package? how much would he get? lots of variables to consider.

you want the baby - so continue pregnancy and see what happens. something will work out... depends on financial situaiton overall, if you can downsize, sell a car etcetcetc...

PinkElephant73 · 04/08/2010 15:33

thanks. it would be hard to downsize as we are tied into a mortgage deal with penalties, and need the space with an extra baby on the way anyway. our only car has 100 000 miles on the clock but I take your point. OH is the big spender in our household, it would be him who would find it hard to cut back on his iphone, Sky +HD with all the channels, money for all the latest gadgets and fancy food etc. OHs view is, oh well if we are stuck he will ask his dad to lend us money!

I just feel that he is either stressing me out about something that may never happen, or he should have been more upfront about the situation when we were TTC.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 04/08/2010 15:42

have you kept baby stuff? if not get it all on freecycle or second hand, you dont need to spend loads on latest buggy etc.

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