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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can you force a husband to leave the marital home ?

12 replies

Tillyboo · 04/08/2010 13:48

What happens if a relationship is breaking down but the husband won't leave the house ?

I have a dear friend who is extremely unhappy in her marriage. She works with her husband whom I like on a certain level, but it's quite obvious they should not be together, in fact they resent and almost hate each other. The husband is very controlling, can be quite bullyish and undermines her quite often. He also tells her she has no friends etc. etc.

It's very sad, I've known them for 6 years and for as long as I can remember they have had problems.

My friend has no family here as she is from Poland, she has lived and worked her for 15 years, having their own business here.

She feels totally trapped as she has nowhere to go. She's tried talking to her husband and has asked for a separation but he's having none of it saying she has to leave - knowing she has nowhere and no-one to turn to.

I think he's terrified of losing his son hence his aversion to leaving. What happens in this scenario, can she force her husband to leave ?

Can anyone advise on what her options are. I've even introduced her to a divorce lawyer but she's frightened of all the financial and emotional issues.

I have told her she's got to do something as she's making herself very ill, she really can't go on like this ...

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 04/08/2010 14:05

he's presumably paid his share of the house and costs?

he doesnt have to leave,no.....and his worries about losing contact with his son are valid too. alot of men do lose contact,theough no fault of their own

Meow75 · 04/08/2010 14:10

CAB.

Tillyboo · 04/08/2010 14:22

Yep, I've tried to explain that his fear of losing his son is stopping him from negotiating an that it's completely understable.

It happened to my brother & it broke his heart - all's well now but the fear on nothing be the same ever again clouds sensibility sometimes. My dh can't imagine ever not being with our dd but my friends relationship is very destructive and that can't be good for their ds surely ...

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 04/08/2010 14:24

is leaving the son with his dad in his own home an option?

kayah · 04/08/2010 14:28

they are married, she I think can through the court force sale of the house

Anniegetyourgun · 04/08/2010 15:14

You can force sale of the house, yes. I did. But it depends on circumstances whether the court agrees it is the best option.

Tillyboo · 04/08/2010 16:11

Unfortunately, they cannot sell the family home yet as they bought it in a run down state and have spent a lot of money renovating & need to finish the extension otherwise they will be in negative equity ...

So, that's not an option for them ...

OP posts:
kayah · 04/08/2010 17:03

So why not split the house into 2 flats instead?

LadyLapsang · 04/08/2010 18:41

As far as I understand, unless he is abusive then no, he cannot be forced out. After all - difficult as it is for all concerned - it is his home as well as her's.

If he is abusive then she should contact Women's Aid.

quaere · 04/08/2010 20:46

Unless he's done something illegal and can be arrested for it, then no. It's his house too - you can't force someone out of their own house.

GypsyMoth · 04/08/2010 20:48

even if he's been arreseted for something,its not likely he'd lose his half of the home

Daydreaming · 04/08/2010 22:11

There is absolutely no way she would leave her son with the father. That's very bad advice, if she wants to continue to be the primary carer for her son.

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