My relationship with me.

[NicknameInUse]

Sorry if OT, not sure where the best place to post this is.

I'm stuck in a rut!
I've got a lovely partner and son(16mths)and have no serious problems with regards to my home life. I've just got no 'get up and go'.

I've always been an introvert - very shy, not comfortable in new environments or meeting new people. I used to have a close network of friends and family that I felt completely commfortable with so it was never too much of an issue.
But I've since moved a long distance away and have found it very difficult. I used to work here, but never got really friendly with colleaques despite their efforts (they'd ask me out for drinks etc but I'd talk myself out of it).

I'm a SAHM at the moment. At first I'd go for long walks, go into town etc every day but I'd never actually meet anyone so it'd just be me and ds. I've really decreased the amount I get out and about (not intentionally). I've looked into groups etc nearby that I AM going to take ds to now that he's interested in other babies (he honestly paid them no attention until recently). I'm just finding it really hard to make myself do it. The idea of sitting in a room with a bunch of clique-y strangers is not something that I'm able to stomache too well.

I'm perfectly happy getting out and about with my boyfriend - I suppose he's a kind of safety net/comfort thing.

Sorry for looong moan. Not evenn sure what I'm after tbh - just a vent I suppose

hi not wanting to leave you without a reply

a lot of what you say was as I felt, I think it takes time to build relationships and they are at best loose but it is possible to find non clique type relationships which help you along
just make sure you include a couple of activities which you enjoy and means that you are looking after yourself, it can get lonely even for self relying, happy with own company sort of people

sorry if not helpful I am sure someone will come along with good ideas

Hi. Of course it is difficult to meet new people and even harder if you are shy.

Why dont you try some toddler groups? I agree they can be very cliquey, but if you think of it as something you are doing for your DS rather than for you, then it gives you a focus and helps with the nerves. And just persevere, no matter how uncomfortable you feel! I went to as many groups as I could and often felt like the outsider in most of them. But gradually you start recognising other mums and getting to know them. Also, you often find another mum who is on her own and feeling as awkward as you do. By going to many groups, I was able make friends with many other mums who were alone and we now meet up as a group 2 or 3 times a week. We all see each other as lifelong freinds now.

Just take each day one at a time and you will gradually build up friendships.

Just re-read my post - urgh how tragic!

Thanks so much both of you for responding, really lovely and helpful (was expecting replies more along the lines of "Pull yourself together and get over it"!)

Definately agree with you singledom about doing it for DS rather than myself - I think that's the only reason I'm pushing myself to get 'back out there'