Hello, Always
I found this thread after reading your recent posts about 'snooping'. I'm sorry you feel so down. What you've said here, about wanting more than people can give, makes me very sad to hear because this is not how life normally is.
While human relationships are transactions, with roughly equal give-and-take on all sides (parent-child relationships being the exception), the transaction is rather woolly in nature. It tends to play out over time, too, so one side might be doing more taking for a while with the other side compensating - probably in different 'currency' - later on.
Your other posts suggest a very rigid view of human behaviour, acceptability and variability. Some of the things you've said here, too, seem to imply that you expect like-for-like returns on your 'investments' in other people. Thinking like this will, quite simply, piss people off. We are taught from childhood, with good reason, that in order to make friends we must make offers. Either this lesson passed you by, or you didn't realise the return may not be immediate or equal.
I wonder if you've ever been to counselling, or perhaps tried some self-help psychotherapy workbooks? If so, what emerged from your study?
Your posts almost sound as though you might be suffering from a disorder, like BPD or Asperger's, which gives you an abnormal (not necessarily wrong) approach to emotional matters. Obviously I'm not trying to diagnose you, merely asking you to consider whether you've always felt different and, if so, how so?
Hope I haven't offended you ...