thumbwitch, my sisters' DC's are only 2 and nearly 1, with another one due in December,so far too young to tell if they are going to be nice or not. I do hope that if my DC's do not have much of a relationship with these cousins as children it won't stop them having one as adults.
seashore, yes my sister has also bullied me and the other one went along with her but was rarely the instigator (sp). The few times they have been to my house was not nice. On one occasion BIL was completely taking the pis out of DD, who was only 6 at the time so luckily most of it went over her head but I could tell she was confused by BIL's behaviour. They had come over during the summer hols and DD's school report came to their attention (it must have been sitting on my laptop or something and they spotted it and wanted to read it) and my sister read it out whilst BIL made sarcastic and derogatory comments about the contents of the report. I think he was trying to be funny but I don't know who he thought would laugh, me and DH certainly wouldn't laugh at DD along with BIL and DD herself just found it confusing as she had only had praise and encouragement from whoever had seen her report ie me, DH and DH's parents. At time I put it down to the fact that at that time BIL and sister had not had DC's so probably had no idea as to what children find funny. But afterwards I thought that was letting them off the hook too lightly, I think most people, even those who haven't had children, would know better than to take the pis out of a 5 year old child's school report in front of the child and her parents. We have seen BIL and sister since then, not just due to the school report incident, but loads of other stuff that I simply have no patience with anymore.
Wrt my other sister, she has got one DD (age 2), and when we met up with her and her DH, again when DD was around 6, BIL asked DD if she remembered their DD from the last time they had met and without waiting for DD to reply, told her in a nasty way, that his DD didn't remember her, as if my DD was not special enough to be remembered by his DD or something.
Again we haven't seen them since then either, also not just due to that incident, but loads of other stuff that I have had enough of.
One sister and BIL are 'money mad', everything revolves around making money, making sure they always get tbe best deal possible on anything they buy even if it involves screwing over the other person (please excuse my language, couldn't think of a better word!) and the ways in which they make money whilst not illegal, I find highly unethical and exploitative. And on top of that, BIL's family are actually extremely wealthy, millionaires, and yet, it has never occurred to him or my sister that they could do so much good with their money ie setting up a charity or suchlike. DH and I have far, far less than they do, but we give to charity every month, it's only a tiny amount, but it's important to us as are the charities we support.
I can see that as we have grown up and got married, the differences between me and my sisters have become very apparent, including down to the type of man we married. The other sister is not married to a rich man or family, but her DH seems to do things very much for the status and admiration he will get as a result.
Anyway, both my sisters and their DH's are very different from me and DH, in quite fundamental ways and that's another reason why a close relationship is going to be pretty impossible, and that's without even factoring in all the bullying and ganging up and nastiness I experienced from childhood into adulthood with both my sisters.