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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The ex - how do I move forward from this situation?

4 replies

thesouthsbelle · 01/08/2010 08:28

long long story,

but I have at the mo major resentment towards XH and his lack of loyalty/priority to his child. over his GF. no issue with the girl I have a DP and have totally moved on, but the girl is put ahead of our (my) son all the time. XH is totally selfish abusive towards me and if not in control or I have a rant at him (ie refusing to let him not see DS after using a pathetic excuse) he won't talk to DS for 2 or 3 weeks at a time and not see him.

tbh he is a crap dad - interested when it suits him only & there's no girl around.

so how do I get over the resentment that he can swan off on holiday for 2 weeks with her spend a shit load of money and not see or ring his child for 4 weeks. then literally not do a thing with his child as he 'doesn't have the money' - funny that isn't it after spending it all.

he comes here stops in my house which at the minute suits me but literally does NOTHING with DS - yet end of the street we have the woods and the other way the sea things that don't cost!

when I asked y'day about him next seeing DS I got told it depends on when she's working till as to if they come down on the friday, or sat, and he'll be taking her home on the sunday then if he has money he'll be back during the week but not sure for how long (XPIL are down for that week,) I have a good mind to tell his mother exactly what her precious son is like with his son but what's the point. in many ways I wish he'd just leave us totally alone, but it's DS who suffers.

also slightly at having a 2 week holiday - i'm lucky to get 5 days in one go and even then I ave to nag him to take DS to see his mum - never away properly. and even then I can't really go anywhere as have 2 dogs. (then again thou I guess that's part of the difference isn't it - I put DS first)

OP posts:
jeminthecellar · 01/08/2010 08:30

Would getting a contact order help, if you are able to do it?

thesouthsbelle · 01/08/2010 08:32

how does one of those work? he's forces so apparently he 'works' - funny thing is it only ever seems to be the sat he has DS and it wouldn't occur to him to come down on the sunday for the day cos he doesn't have the money apparently- and even then just sits in my house.

OP posts:
SassySusan · 01/08/2010 09:51

Message deleted

thesouthsbelle · 01/08/2010 10:23

yeah i know. I've bit my tongue for the last 3 years and well 2 before that not to mention everything else non boy related. Surprised there's not a hole in it. It could be worse yes. And the realisation he'll never be the dad the boy deserves was a hard pill to swallow but the one of everything else comes first to him is harder still.

OP posts:
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