squash, you have 4 kids, tell him to get out. Pack his bags and tell him you know what he's up to, and that you're not going to just sit there and take it. Tell him that anyone who would hit his wife when he thinks she's asleep needs to do the right thing and just go.
Salmah? Is your dh british??? With a ridiculous sense of entitlement like that, i'd say he hails from somewhere more middle-eatern, like mine. Tell if he likes things a certain way, then he knows how to do them!
Mine likes the house clean. Spotless. He likes everything left tidy, and his son well behaved. He is however unwilling to actually do anything to help out.
If i do say anything, tell him to just leave things as he finds them, at the very least, i have to go through a great deal of moaning and whining when he does pull up the duvet, or put the towels back neatly over the towel rail. Mine also moans he doesn't get enough. I've told him if he's nice, no critisising, no moaning or whinging he'll be in with more of a chance. He says 'it doesn't work like that' i tell him it most certainly does, and for him to try it.
He'll leave eventually, he'll go back to his country. 3 years there completely undid the previous 20 years of living in the uk.