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Original poster

Decided not to let ex who dumped me at 3 month pregnant come to the birth

16 replies

Mooshie · 30/07/2010 20:27

Not to be a bitch, just because I am going through the pregnancy alone, and know he will not be there financially while I am on maternity leave. He is not happy at all, but to be honest I also dont want him to see me naked screaming and probably pooing and crying my eyes out while in labour. What do you guys think?

OP posts:
Jojay · 30/07/2010 20:29

Perfectly justified.

It's the one situation when you get to dictate EXACTLY what you want and anyone else's opinion comes a very poor second

DinahRod · 30/07/2010 20:32

Totally reasonable and sensible decision.

jaffacake2 · 30/07/2010 20:32

If he hasnt been there for you through the pregnancy why should he be there at the birth?

You pick someone who support you at that special time. Good luck

sixesandsevens · 30/07/2010 20:40

totally ok - I didn't have my xp at the birth either, although he wanted to be there.

Just so you know, you don't have to let him come to your scans either - I chose to go to most of my scans alone because my xp was so verbally abusive every time we talked.

SherbetDibDab · 30/07/2010 20:42

Yes YANBU, your birth patners are there to support you. You are not a tourist attraction.

Original poster
Mooshie · 30/07/2010 20:44

I feel a lot stronger now that I have decided not to let him come. If I can give birth alone then I can do anything!

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/07/2010 21:03

YANBU

If he hasn't been involved during your pregnancy then why does he want to be at the birth?

As for him not being there for you financially - CSA?

hairytriangle · 30/07/2010 21:06

I think it's fair enough. No reason to think yabu.

Ponders · 30/07/2010 21:08

Why on earth does he want to be there? He sounds to be utterly detached otherwise (bastard )

Original poster
Mooshie · 30/07/2010 21:11

Sorry, \i am new here what does YANBU Mean?

@ Alibaba... I dont want to get into a war with him, dont have the energy.

@Ponders, he feels like, its his child so he wants to see it come into the world.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/07/2010 21:12

CSA isn't a war - you just tell them he is the dad and they make him cough up.

You Are Not Being Unreasonable

Original poster
Mooshie · 30/07/2010 21:16

Well I think once I go back to work after Maternity leave things should be okay financially. I already have one child with him and if I need anything for her I can ask him, He doesn't see the need to give me a regular amount of money as 'My financial problems are nothing to do with him'.........

OP posts:
sixesandsevens · 30/07/2010 21:25

I think that you would need to chase him for a regular CSA payment, because it's actually for your children rather than you?

SugarMousePink · 30/07/2010 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mooshie · 30/07/2010 21:41

I'll see how he carries on now he knows that I dont want him at the birth. If he decides to behave awkwardly then the CSA might be my only option, I'll wait and see. For now i am just concentrating on keeping it all together and tryig to have as peaceful a pregnancy as possible!

OP posts:
msboogie · 30/07/2010 22:54

God, no it would be bad for you, the baby and the labour if he were there.

Totally sensible.

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