How would you take it if your DH pulled out of a family trip the day before?

[jamaisjedors]

LAst night at midnight when I went up to bed (family staying so chatting late), DH announced he was not coming to the UK with me and the DC.

We are due to leave on Saturday morning for a week and a family wedding when we are over there.

I am a bit in and taking it pretty badly because we have been arguing a bit the last couple of days and he has just announced he needs to "rest" so will be staying home.

I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting.

oh jamais I can sympathise - DH gets very anti-social when he's stressed at work - he doesn't want to partake in family activities or sit round making small talk - it gets a bit embarrassing sometimes

Hope you manage to enjoy the trip as much as possible

In that case I hope he makes an effort on your holiday to be really nice etc . Tbh he sounds like hard work.

Completely beside the point but I am off on my first single parent holiday in the morning and this has reminded how nice it is to not feel anxious about whether exh will approve of my choices , like the people etc etc . Just me and my dcs everyone easygoing

I am sorry that your DH is so unconcerned with being polite to other people/family when he is not in the mood. It must be awful for you to deal with that

I do hope he gets himself together and you can enjoy your hliday. It sounds like he wants time to himself but is too scared.

If I were you, I would be organising future trips without him. That's what dh and I often do; I've just been two weeks to England with the children and my dh stayed at home, and that works well for us.

I do sympathise with you both - DH has a very stressful job, and has in the past done all the things you describe in your posts. He reaches a point where he is literally too stressed to speak, won't talk to me, won't go to prearranged events, won't talk to other people, etc. Not good.

I've found that friends and family actually don't find it partiuclarly upsetting or rude, though. It is much worse for you as a partner than for other people - they can see that he is stressed, and are able to put it to one side, whereas you are right in the thick of it.

I wouldn't worry too much about the guests who were staying with you. As I say, in my experience, they won't find it as rude as you think.

Unfortunately grendelsmum, my cousin said that DH was so rude that she had wanted to leave early!!

We are enjoying our holiday now and he is going to work for a few hours a day.

I have offered to go without him before but he would miss the boys too much.

All is good now and we are getting on well, I'm really glad he came and it's so much nicer than going away on an argument with each of us stewing separately.

Thanks everyone.