Advice on stopping this unhealthy paranoia

[ParanoidTwit]

Please don't tell me I'm pathetic and need to get a grip as I am all to aware of that.

OH and I have been together for 14 years with two kids. He is lovely and I cannot complain about him in any way. Recently we moved out of London but the commute was too much for OH so he stays there during the week. There have been periods in the past where he as been away for 6+ months without a weekend home because he was so far away so I am used to this.

In the last 2 months I have developed this insane paranoia that he is cheating. I have no proof, it is not in his nature to do this but I keep reading things on MN and get it into my head he is doing these things. I have even started checking up on him which is not like me as I was always very secure in our relationship. Obviously because he is not at home he goes on lots of work doos as he finds it lonely in his flat. Because he gets very drunk I worry that he could "forget" himself and do things without realising.

Anyway, this is all in my mind and I need to know how to stop these thoughts and get back to my own secure self. Any advice?

Oh sweetheart- you are having a dreadful time

I know that Flamesparrow wouldn't mind me saying that she was in that situation, and her anxiety and insecurity led to her and her husband breaking up

You really need to hide the Relationships topic while you are feeling like this. Can you get some help for your anxiety?

I must find the Flamesparrow thread so she can warn me off then. I have worried that I developed this clingy streak and I hate it.

OH currently at a work gathering and still not home which doesn't help. I must sound like his mother and guess what? He as nothing to do with her!

Oh that sounds so hard for you both; really difficult living apart.

Are you able to talk to him about your feelings?

I have rather embarrassingly told him I suspect him of doing everything and realise that it's not rational and very insulting to him. He's not the most empathetic so doesn't take offence nor will he go out of his way to ease my paranoia as it doesn't cross his mind. He is very trusting and I could be doing all sorts but it never crosses his mind that I would dream of doing such things.

I'm a stupid woman and for my sake I want to not feel like this!

Hi ParanoidTwit,

Have you tried Skyping each other every night? That way you can keep in close contact and be a part of each other's day to day lives. You also would know that he is home every night. I have a friend working in Africa who Skypes his wife every day and they so look forward to their chats and are very close.