someone tell me you have a man in your life who seems to have absolute control over you?
I've known this man 10years, since I was a teenager...in essence I know we have never been more than fuck buddies but I get wildly emotionally attached to him whenever we meet up having not seen each other for a while, he tells me all the right things, we have amazing sex then gradually his calls etc diminish and he doesn't even reply to text messages. Then a year or two later he crops up again.
I just don't know how to flush him out of my system - I know he is bad for me, I am a wreck whenever he is in my life, I have nearly fucked my life up on more than one occasion because of him. I punish myself by seeing him because I know it will make me feel horrid about myself, but I don't stop it.
We do have an incredible sexual attraction to each other - not like I've had with anyone else and we've had it literally from the second we first made eye contact. I've since had better lovers than him but I can't make myself resist his advances and I feel just so awful for not having more control.
Am so angry because he's been back on the scene for a few months now and it's started all over again in terms of him not replying to messages, not answering the phone or returning my calls. I think about him constantly (mainly in anger!) but jump as soon as he tells me to when he deigns to get in touch (probably once a week at the moment)...I've lost count of the number of times I've deleted his nmber or promised myself not to contact him...