actual affairs, and emotional affairs.

[ladysybil]

are they very common? or do i just know a lot of amoral people.

Neither are very common, in the circles in which I move

I am glad about that

Much more common than you'd think, but that's because so many people keep secrets.

so perhaps its just that i am aware of these that is the strange thing then?
its all a secret, and i found out about them purely by accident. wont ever tell obviously. but was wondering if i have surrounded myself by people i shouldnt.

I'm not sure what you're getting at tbh. If you find yourself surrounded by deceivers, then yes, I'd change the company you kept, presuming that you dislike deceit. And why is it "obvious" that you won't ever tell? I couldn't stand back and watch someone being deceived and I have no difficulty telling people that they are behaving in a shitty way to their partner, if that helps?

yes, i guess that on mumsnet it isnt obvious, as you dont know me in rl.

There was some research reported in the weekend papers saying that people who know people that have affairs, friends or family, are more likely to themselves. So I suppose your perception of normality is influenced by the people you're with- best to choose your friends wisely! Time here makes me feel despair that so many people are deceived so often, myself included.it's shit really this whole affair business.

Hi,Ithink my DH has emotional affairs in response to crises. This means I seldom share anything with him that is likely to precipitate an affair. My ex long term partner used to turn to alcohol whenever there was a crisis. I see the same pattern with DH but it is women not alcohol. Maybe both men suffer from some sort of depression, who knows? What do you think?

I have a thread "Sick and Lonely" too.

Persoanlly I think an emotional affair is an affair where the participants just haven't had sex yet. There's no difference in term of betrayal or infidelity, for me.

I think affairs can be a type of addiction.