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Original poster

DP has proven that he really doesn't give a shit about me

27 replies

SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 18:58

My partner and I have been living together for around 2 years. We have had our ups but most of it has been downs. Mainly due to the kids (we have one each and they're both living with us). Constant favouritism (probably on both sides) different ways of parenting, etc. We just argue all the time but when the kids are away, we're fine.

For this reason I suggested that myself and my DC find somewhere else to live. To cut a long story short he quickly agreed and said he'd wanted to suggest that for a while

But after discussing it we decided we would continue our relationship, just in different houses. He said he still loved me and cared about me.

So today I'm searching through the property guides and text him at work to say it may take longer than we thought as there was nothing available. He immediately text back asking me to try EVERWHERE and not give up. He may as well have just said "I don't want to be stuck with you any longer".

So I phoned one place up who said they had a house down a NOTORIOUSLY bad street, known for shootings, murders, drug wars etc. I laughed when I told DP who thought about it and said "its not that bad down there". so I said "so you'd be willing to see me and DD move down there then???" and he replied "well it can't be any worse than where you lived before you met me".

He just doesn't give a shit does he? At the same time he's saying he wants me to leave the wardrobe, the living room cabinet, the washing machine - he'll also be left with the full fitted kitchen, a sofa, the TV, the bed - and he's fine with that despite knowing that I gave up EVERYTHING I owned to move in with him and he'd be fine with me moving out with fuck all.

At the same time he's saying "don't speak about it as if we're splitting up, we're not, we can still go on holidays and see each other at weekends etc"

Am I right in assuming he doesn't give a flying fuck about me, he just wants a weekend shag buddy to stop him getting bored when he's got nothing else to do???

I'm really upset about this tbh. More than I'm letting on.

OP posts:
coventgarden · 27/07/2010 18:59

YOU be the one to finish things.

msboogie · 27/07/2010 19:07

why can't he move out?is it his place?

he sounds lie a tosser and he can't wait to get rid of you, sorry.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 27/07/2010 19:08

You are splitting up, but he seems to be getting a rather good deal out of it. He doesn't want you there, but leave your stuff that he finds useful.

He should care where you live.

Is there any reason he can't move out, or find somewhere else?

whatifihadneverbothered · 27/07/2010 19:13

I agree with you it certainly doesn't look like he gives a toss about you or your DC.

Sounds like a right pig to me, I wouldn't want to stay in touch once I'd left him, hope you find somewhere soon, at least you will be rid of him.

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:14

Its his house. I gave up all my stuff as I stupidly thought his was better anyway. Now he wants to keep EVERYTHING that he originally owned as well as half the stuff we bought together and he doesn't give a shit that I'm going to be left with nothing but ... he still cares and still wants a relationship with me apparantly Absolutely full of shit. As most men are. I'm sick to death of everything. Men have ALWAYS treated me like shit and I'm absolutely sick of it.

OP posts:
ninah · 27/07/2010 19:18

If it's his stuff fair enough he keeps it, and he is giving you half the joint stuff, what's the problem?
I think I'd call it a day once you move out though. Sounds like new arrangement will be much better for the dc

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:22

The problem is that he's supposed to care about me yet is quite happy to see me live in a "war zone" area with not one piece of furniture to my name. You do not treat someone you care about like that. Anyone with a shred of decency would want the other person to be safe and comfortable in their new home, especially if they were still supposed to be in a relationship!

OP posts:
msboogie · 27/07/2010 19:23

Time to box clever. Tell him you are going to need some financial assistance to move out as you can't have your child in an empty hovel in some shithole of an area. If he wants rid of you that much he will have to help out.

Otherwise tell him you are staying put.

And when you do move for god's sake dump the twat.

whatifihadneverbothered · 27/07/2010 19:23

Well sick, now's your chance to change it, tell him that you will want some sort of recompense, for the items you have contributed to, as you will have nothing to move into a new house with, and this will mean it will take longer to move out.

I've got a feeling he'll offer up something

msboogie · 27/07/2010 19:24

and learn from this - next time don't give up as much as a stick of furniture for a man...

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:25

I have well and truely learnt my lesson. I will NEVER give up ANYTHING for a bloke again.

I'm considering turning lesbian anyway, I've never met a decent bloke in my life. lol

OP posts:
gingerkirsty · 27/07/2010 19:30

What msboogie said

gingerkirsty · 27/07/2010 19:31

And FGS don't move into a vile area you both need to be safe.

RealityKicksArse · 27/07/2010 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:33

But reality I'm not too bothered about the material side of stuff, its his attitude. How can he claim to care about me yet act like this?

OP posts:
RealityKicksArse · 27/07/2010 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:37

I know, you're right.

OP posts:
gingerkirsty · 27/07/2010 19:42

Go for it, you can do it x

RealityKicksArse · 27/07/2010 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
SickOfEverything · 27/07/2010 19:45

You know we've been saving to buy DD a laptop for christmas and he even wants half the money from that pot. How fucking petty can you get.

OP posts:
gingerkirsty · 27/07/2010 19:45

He really does not sound very nice, you and DD deserve better - cut your losses and get out as soon as you can.

msboogie · 27/07/2010 19:49

well let him sing for it, fucker.

Tell him your plans have changed - you will have to stay put until yo have saved enough for a decent place and some stuff to put in it.

I can't believe this arsewipe showed no signs of his inherent cuntishness before you moved in with him. Is your knobber radar broken OP?

get it fixed before you take up with any more blokes!

tillywee · 27/07/2010 20:37

Kick his arse to the curb.
Tell him you want some money for the joint stuff you bought...keep DD laptop money for yourself.

gtamom · 31/07/2010 20:15

He sounds like a jerk. I left everything behind and started over with only our clothes and what ds could fit in to one large box. It was the price for freedom and well spent. I never would have met my great dh, if I had not moved on.

He doesn't really care, if he did his actions would show that he did. Sorry if that hurts to hear, but if it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, looks like a duck...

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/08/2010 14:38

You're right, he doesn't care about you.

You are best off out of it.

What happened to all your stuff? Did you sell it, give it away, just leave it?

Because I'm wondering if you should write a list of all the things that you lost moving in with him, put a monetary value on them and say that you want that back on top of half of everything you bought together.