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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Counselling - might it help?

1 reply

zaratu · 27/07/2010 12:50

Hi

DW and I are at a crisis point. Marriage is sexless, I love her as much as ever, (she's not sure if she feels the same) but we've both been in denial about the problem for a long while. There are other issues too, extrnal to our relationship (including bureavement) which haven't helped - and it's mixed in with those. We have infrequent but very bad rows where stupid and hurtful things are said. I've not been DH of the year, but have tried to open up the conversation in recent months. I think we can start again, particularly with the sex, but DW things it might be too big a task. I know I need to make a lot of changes, but have been trying to do so in recent months.

DW has agreed to counselling (although it feels a little like it's an obligation) and I am desperate to find a way to make this work. Things are strained at home, since we had the big talk (initiated by her) she barely wants to be around me. I am trying hard not to keep bringing the subject up, as it seems to annoy her and I end up trying to get commitment that isn't possible to give. I'm now waiting for the counselling to start.

We have two DC, and the thought of losing her, the family and the devastation of a divorce terrify me.

Can it help?

OP posts:
Prinnie · 27/07/2010 21:52

Hi Zaratu, didn't want to see your thread go unanswered - I think your attitude is great. It may be that counselling can help. my DH and I have had similar problems - my GP referred us to Relate sex therapy. We are still on the waiting list at the moment but we have started to work things out anyway. There is also a great Relate book about Sex in relationships which might be a good starting point.

The main advice I can give is not to be pushy (though I'm sure your not) and try and talk about things together - me and DH have found that just talking about it has made it less of a taboo subject and been very empowering to starting to get on track.

Hope things get better for you and your DW

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