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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

losing the spark

6 replies

zappatron · 26/07/2010 22:14

can i just start by saying that i love my dh very much. emotionally feel connected, physically very attracted.

sometimes, i wonder if he fancies me, feels the same. i know he loves me but i don't feel adored anymore. it doesn't feel like me and him against the world. i know that honeymoon feeling has ended but i still feel like it about him.

i miss the spontaneous affection and sex. i miss the feeling of someone looking at you, watching you because they think you're amazing.

am i terribly self-centred?

i think i need to be with someone who shows outwardly how much he loves me more than dh has done in recent years.

when we first get together and went out, he would always catch my eye, talk to me, find a moment for a quick snog! now when we go out, i barely see him/talk to him. when i asked him about it he said it's because we spend all our time together, which is true i s'pose.

do i crave too much attention? what am i supposed to do? the inside of my head expects life to be like a romcom. and it is not.

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 26/07/2010 22:46

I'm the same as you, moment i don't have that attention, it's not the same for me and i run for the hills cant help it.

So not any advice for you really just letting you know your not alone.

nagoo · 26/07/2010 22:50

I've never expected it to be like that. Don't know if that's right or wrong.

I thought it was a chemical thing? I just believed that all relationships had that at the start, and it just fades as real life takes over.

RumourOfAHurricane · 26/07/2010 22:53

This reply has been deleted

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thesunshinesbrightly · 26/07/2010 22:58

Finally i'm with my OH and we talked about it and he know's what i am like so that is good.I mean i understand it will die down a little but i know i can talk to him and he listens.

All you can do is talk, give him a chance and then you can decide what you want to do, if it's worth living like that.

zappatron · 27/07/2010 16:21

oh we have spoken at lengths about it.
conclusion is generally that he isn't like me and i should accept that people are different.
also that a lot of my need for affection/attention comes from having low self esteem.

i have lost weight and feel better about myself but now i am here, slim as i've even been and nothing changes, i wonder what is the point in trying to lose the weight? he loves me just the same and we have sex as often as before. i suppose that is a good thing as it shows he fancies me the same whtever state i'm in! tis slightly depressing though...

OP posts:
zappatron · 27/07/2010 16:22

sunshinesbrightly - how long have yu been with your oh?

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