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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I Just dont Know

1 reply

Pinkranger · 26/07/2010 09:16

Please forgive me if i drone on a bit, i just think i need to get it off my chest and tell people that dont know us.

We have Been together for nearly 10 years and married for 5, we have 2 ds age 7 and 3.
I like to think that we have always had a good relationship and had fun and was very lucky that we got to spend time together without the children as we had brilliant family and friends around us.

It all started to get difficult last year, my dh job relocated to over 200 miles from where we lived and we both made the decision that it was better if we were together then living apart and after lots of deliberating making we moved up the country.
Things were awful for me, id left friends,family, job and had no one, the children were of course fine and dh life hadn't changed that much apart from the fact he was coming home to us rather then a hotel ( which was fantastic of course). For the 1st couple of months he was my rock, id live my life through him but as time went on i think i would get on his nerves when i cried when i said goodbye to anyone.
But as time went on i have pulled myself together, Made friend, been on nights out, taken up a hobby and got a job so i am really trying.
But in this time i have found my feelings for my husband changing, He is a great dad and not a violent or abusive man, He a normal man that dont do much around the house, gets stressed with the kids, spends lots of time at work etc.......... I look at him and dont see the man i feel in love with anymore, In my heart i blame him for the move ( I KNOW ITS NOT HIS FAULT), He knows that one day ill want to move back down south and he has said he will NEVER moved back to the town that we lived in before.
We had a tough time around feb when i said that i wanted to go back and he said that if i did our marriage would be over as when he came down he would only want to see the kids and would have no time for me, and that i was being selfish....... He turned into a different person after that comment for me.
Im sexually attracted to him anymore, prob count on one hand the number of times we had sex in the 8 months......
i know this would just shatter him inside and ive never hurt anyone and dont want to start

I just dont know what to do, am worried if i say something that things will changed for the worse........ thank you for reading if you got this far

OP posts:
Mouseface · 26/07/2010 11:43

How could things change for the worse by talking to him?

You aren't happy. You don't make love. You resent him for 'making' you move although you did have a say in it. You know he won't go back to the town you used to live in.

He knows you want to go back there but says if you do, you can wave goodbye to your marraige.

Does he have any idea how you feel about him and your relationship?

Are you afraid that if you tell him, he'll just end it all?

Because of that is the case and he did end it, then I am inclined to say that your marriage is already over.

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