he doesnt love me anymore!!! :(

[sereka]

I was with my daughters dad for 10 years....

We recently broke up, now for 4 months. We broke up times before but we get back together. This time there is a girl pregnant.

He was abusive towards me physically. He was good otherwise though not that I am condoning his violence, but i still love him.

He said he doesnt have feelings for me sexually anymore(but i dont believe him) but he loves me as i have his child who he loves. I was doing fine until I found out about the pregnancy of this other girl. Do you think maybe Im just jealous? i was wseroiusly getting my single life on track till i found the scan in his room of this girl's pregnancy.

I am crying and caling him all the time begging him back. First he said ok he would take me back but now he has changed his mind saying he cant take the stress, he just wants to be happy and to move on with his life. I know i sound stupid but i want him back.. he said we can try slowly to work on it.

I really would love to move on as well, honestly but its hard. he was my first and only man. never knew anyone but him. dont really have many friends. I feel so sad and lonely... give me tips to go on. he seem to be enjoying himself going out and obviously getting other people pregnant so early. He said it just happened but he is not together with the girl.

crying now... I need help, why do i feel like this man... I feel so stupid. I havent eaten properly in days and i wake up three or four times at night thinking about him being happy while im sad and moping.

I want to be strong for my beautiful daughter.

Just needed to get this out sorry ... )

Morning hun, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It really is awful but it seems to me based on what you've said that he really is over the relationship, even if you're not. Begging him to take you back is not a good idea hun. If you have to beg him it's obviously not what he wants.

The man was violent towards you love, is that the kind of environment you want your daughter growing up in? Cause she'll only end up thinking that this kind of behaviour is normal and that that is what she deserves too. Although I'm not suggesting he was violent to her, even if it was just to you it IS NOT acceptable. Set your daughter an example and find yourself someone who is worthy of your time.

We all know how hard it to deal with a brokenheart especially if you still want to be with that someone but you simply have to move on, for your daughter if not for you. What would you say to a friend in this situation? Think on that and then follow your own advice.

Whenever I was upset after my DD's father walked out, after 6 years, I would give myself 5 mins to be sad and cry and feel sorry for myself then I would go out; to the park, to a friends, window shopping, for a walk, cleaning, cooking, baking, sorting through drawers etc. Anything to serve as a distraction.

I don't know if this will help you in any way Sereka but I really do hope you feel better soon. Stay strong x bighug x

Begging him to come back will not work. Being climgy and dependent will ensure he runs for the hills- or another woman.

You need to take a good hard look at this man- he is violent and he has got someone else pregnant when not in a stable realtionship (okay so she slipped up there too, we assume.)

Is he really a good bet- and a good role model as a Dad for your daughter? Do you really want your life to be a roller coaster of splitting up and not knowing how he feels about you from one week to another? No.

Do you work? If not, then maybe working and getting a new circle of friends will help.
Don't see yourslf as a victim, but as a woman who a man has to work hard to keep- not the other way round.

I'm sorry but in response to your thread title... he never loved you.

You dont use violence against someone you love. Most people wouldnt use violence against and animal they didnt even know.

You've had a lucky escape.

Cry, rant, rave, scream and shout, get some counselling and then move on and lead by example for your daughter.

If you dont break the cycle then research would suggest she will go down the same path..

Thanks for your responses guys. i am really disappointed in myself as i am a god fearing person and he has blessed me immensely. I just need to get some more self esteem, it just hurts at the moment.

Purple P I do work... full time and my daughter is due to start reception. she is progressing well and a very happy child.

sereka, I am sorry but your daughter wont be progressing so well when she becomes old enough to realise that her mum is hurting and being controlled by her violent bully of a dad.