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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Are toyboys worth it?

48 replies

poshsinglemum · 25/07/2010 19:42

All the men I fancy at the moment seem to be about 10 years younger than me. I don't know if I'd be able to have a lasting relationship with one but I bet the sex is good!

Anyone got a toyboy? Share your toyboy stories here.

OP posts:

MizDemeanor · 02/08/2010 19:22

Been with my toyboy for over 10 years married for 8, he is 9 years younger, a brilliant Dad to my Dc's, and a whole world apart from my ex (older)twat husband

prism · 02/08/2010 19:36

You could just ask him (whether he's being polite). Or you could tell him you're not just making conversation- hard to say, not having been there at your initial tryst. I think I'd go for telling, rather than asking. Just point out the snog was good and perhaps another one should be attempted to be quite sure (while maintaining the hauteur of a busy older woman).

sixesandsevens · 02/08/2010 20:00

I'm definitely not brave enough to do that!!

As a guy - would you have bothered replying just to be polite?

I think he's a bit of a player in all honesty ... probably a good thing that I'm not in a great place to get into a relationship anyway!

How

prism · 02/08/2010 20:08

Let me see. I am fairly polite, so I probably would have bothered, although if I was actually thinking "Oh God I didn't want that to go any further" I probably wouldn't, as I wouldn't want to lead you on. But what I said, and when I said it, would vary hugely according to how interested I was. As I'm sure you know.

Why do you think he's a bit of a player?

sixesandsevens · 02/08/2010 20:10

oh just because he's young and cool and I definitely can't see him as the type of guy who's shy, loyal, and wants to settle down with just one woman

prism · 02/08/2010 20:14

Hmm. I wonder what he thinks about you?

More research needed.

sixesandsevens · 02/08/2010 20:32

yes. more research needed

prism · 02/08/2010 20:38

I'm glad we agree on that. Have to pop out now- I look forward to the next installment with relish...

MostlyLurking · 04/08/2010 10:21

sixesandsevens, update please

prism · 04/08/2010 14:57

Yes- this is much better than Mills & Boon, and your public depends on you for vicarious romance. If nothing has happened just make it up.

daisystone · 04/08/2010 15:04

I have been with my husband for a total of 6 years (married for nearly two) and he is 10 years younger than me.

He is gorgeous and fantastic and I can't imagine being with anyone older than me - just seems weird!

I am pregnant with our first baby and am overjoyed. Age really does not matter. It matters to other people but it has no bearing on if a relationship will work or not.

Angelcat666 · 04/08/2010 16:17

I seem to be attracting them lately. I've joined a couple of dating sites and I've been contacted/winked at by three at ages 20, 20 & 22 I'm 38 btw.

sixesandsevens · 04/08/2010 19:29

I've no idea what to do next! I could make it up but that would be cheating ....

I need to reply to his message but I don't know what to say - I don't have anything hugely witty-yet-wise that would reel him in

Any suggestions?!

prism · 04/08/2010 21:41

TB absolutely H I'd have to see his message to be able to suggest. But something along the lines of "you-ain't-seen-nothin-yet-young-man" might be an idea.

sixesandsevens · 04/08/2010 23:03

oh .. I hate to say this Prism but I think I just put water on the very feeble fire ...

I sent him a message back just saying I was well etc and to take care, which doesn't invite a response (deliberate!)

I just can't see us being together, alone, having anything to talk about when we're not both under the influence!

Although he's sooooo hot, I couldn't work out how to get from polite chit chat to 'come over for hot sex' ....

will have to see if I bump into him

prism · 04/08/2010 23:15

I usually find a message saying "come over for hot sex" works well. Men are very simple organisms. I am now pinning my hopes on the laws of physics. When you put water on a fire you get...

Steam.

prism · 04/08/2010 23:33

Supplementary question- if you had been sending a message intending to convey the idea that you find him quite attractive but can't take seriously the idea of any kind of liaison with someone so much your junior (and being a mature woman you have better things to do anyway)- would it have been worded any differently? I suspect that is the message his head expects, yet his heart fears to hear, lest it confirms that it will snatch the defeat of passion from the jaws of victory, as a meaningless distinction of age, impossibly small, pread out as it is before the countless stars, stands between the love of one man and one woman.

Or something like that.

daisystone · 05/08/2010 07:29

sixesandsevens - when I met my husband we just had a drunken snog and then another......and then another.....and then that progressed (use your imagination) - but it was all very casual (and drunken) and I NEVER thought we would have a relationship!

I didn't really want a relationship and certainly not with someone so much younger! But I got hooked on him pretty quickly and he is AMAZING in bed (sorry if TMI) and so so so lovely and looks like a cross between Orlando Bloom and Justin Timeberlake so really I had no choice but to fall for him!

I have never regretted my decision. I had to put up with some sniggers from family and friends to start with, but they hold there hands up now and say "you were right - he's a lovely man".

Sometimes you just have to plunge in and see where it takes you.

Just text him to see what he is doing. "Hi, what are you up to? Come over if you fancy sharing a bottle of wine" or something.

It's easy

ilovesprouts · 28/03/2012 16:35

hi i have one im 44in may hes 38 in sept bloody fantastic

scarletforya · 28/03/2012 16:45

My DP is 11 years younger and we are together nearly 5 years. Expecting our first baby in the Summer. It's the happiest relationship I've ever had. He's lovely to me, I'm mad about him.

DinahMoHum · 28/03/2012 16:48

surely theyre just people?

seemedlikeagudideaatthetime · 28/03/2012 17:20

I agree with dinah - surely they are just people and equally as likely to be good or shit in bed as anyone else? Only one way to find out though eh? ;)

I personally find older men attractive and learnt that the old cliche about them being experienced and great in bed is...balls. ha!

kittycatwoman · 28/03/2012 19:58

I was in a relationship with a 20 year old guy ( I am 52) for about 4 months. We used to meet in a hotel once a week and the sex was incredible. In one night I think we had sex about 6 times and he would lick me for ages till I orgasmed. .

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