Desperately unhappy but if I leave, I mess up DS's education

[Pissedoffandreadytokill]

I want to leave DH so much. I hate him. But schooling is worrying me. DC1 has got into good secondary as we are currently in catchment but dc2 still has 2 years left at primary. If I move out now (I'd have to move out, the house is guarantored with DH's father) I would have to move to crappy catchement and DS would have to go to a really crap secondary.

Do I stay here for 2 years until he's guaranteed a place at a good school?? not sure how long I can stand this but I don't want to mess up DS's education either. Not when his older brother will be getting a good one at a good school.

If you really cant stand it you have to move for your own sanity - 2 years is a very long time.

Can you not move but still keep your current address as the one that the school thinks he lives at if his Dad is still going to be there?

No DH isn't his dad. I'd have to keep all the child benefit etc coming here and DH cannot be trusted with money at all. He's a very dishonest person. I have to apply to secondary for DS next October so I suppose it's just over a year really rather than 2 years but still

His mother being desperately unhappy would also effect his education I think.

I thought priority was given to siblings anyway, is that not right?

Is there no sibling preference at the "good" school?

yes, is there no sibling policy?

Yes but it comes after "catchment" which manages to oversubscribe the school anyway.

It goes:

SEN, Looked after children etc
catchment
siblings

the school is always full after the catchment places have been filled.

You say "I'd have to keep all the child benefit etc coming here" but this is paid into your own bank account automatically, isn't it?

Would counselling help? What's the cause of the unhappiness?

your happiness will affect them so much.....why are you unhappy??

Your own unhappiness will only have any effect upon your children if you show it. If you don't show it, then their little lives will carry blithely on as though nothing is amiss. Depends how much, and why, you are unhappy I suppose. If he comes home from the pub every night and behaves violently towards you, then that's one extreme. If you feel a bit bored, taken for granted, and have just 'gone off' him then that's entirely another.
That's the trouble with having children, I suppose. They must come first, unless there's absolutely no other alternative.