does anyone else argue like this?

[messybedhead]

My not so D P woke me up this morning after stomping round the house and up and down the stairs to demand the battery from my phone. When I said there's no point taking it as its flashing red he started shouting and swearing.

Then he said he needs my bank card (all day won't be back til tonight). I said no because I have no cash on me and what if I want to go out today I can't be left without access to any money. I may add this is my money it is not a joint aCcount.

He does have an account with money in but he lost his bank card weeks ago and 'keeps forgetting' to order a new one.

So I then get called a c++t amongst other things and no w I've got a text telling me I'm evil and sick .

I offered him to take my credit card ( there's about 3 pound on it available) if he wanted to get a sandwich... But then he (as the last person to use it a few days ago) had another strop because I don't know where HE put it. He could have taken something to eat from home, he could have told me he had no money last night and I could have drawn some out for him, but he waits til morning cos normally if I'm in that half asleep state I'll agree to anything.

Anyway its all irrelevant why we argued... More how. When he gets angry (most of the time) I get called a c++t, a sl+t, a wh++re, evil etc etc. Now don't worry I'm not sitting at home crying and trying to please him, normally I laugh and tell him how pathetic he is. But I don't swear ever and so the worst insult I can call him is a pig!

But I mean that's not normal is it to speak to someone like this is it? I'm used to it but at this point in time I feel like bagging all his stuff and chucking it out the front.

But I don't know if I'm overreacting and behind closed doors a lot of people are like this?

Sorry for the essay.

No, I don't think this is normal at all. I would suggest that your P has some very serious anger issues and perhaps some unfortunate (at best) attitudes towards women. The language is unacceptable. The behaviour is quite alarming IMO.

I couldn't take this behaviour but you know how your relationship usually works, etc.

Is there any chance of him addressing the anger issues or would that lead to further confrontation?

That's not normal behaviour.

It's horrible and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

You're not overreacting.

I don't have a problem with the word cunt per se. But I do have a problem with being called one. Or any name whatsoever to be honest.

So I would find it utterly unacceptable.

Why don't you do the bagging up thing? Don't tolerate it any more.

No.

Thats an awful way to talk to someone.

Does he ever apologise?

Bag his stuff and chuck it out the front.

Seriously!

Get rid. Why on earth would you tolerate being spoken to like that? It is not how loving couples are 'behind closed doors', no siree.

It's not normal it's abusive and so is his taking the piss about your money.

You 'love' this man?

My "EX" husband was exactly like this. Your post is uncannily similar to him, same reasons would spark it off as well.

In fact the day I finally had enough of him he demanded £4 off me that i "owed" him I refused and he physically attacked me in front of my ds calling me all names that you said. I called the police in the end and had him removed and he never lived with us again. I would suggest most strongly that you remove him yourself.

I couldn't live like that but I spent 8 years trying to normalise his behaviour so my kids could keep their family. I was ill in the end and a shadow of myself.

If he is regularly like this towards you then you will end up in a bad way, verbal abuse is as damaging as physical abuse. I KNOW this. It just takes longer to take affect and you can't see the marks.

Are there children in this relationship?

Boys - will learn it's ok to talk to women like this.
Girls - will learn you have to put up with it.

and so it goes on, as we are role models.

He has little respect for himself or you, blaming his poor self-management on others.

So no it isn't ok. It's a matter of domestic abuse you are accepting, and he won't stop it until he is told to.

I would be showing him the door.

There are two approaches: one is 'desist' from doing it. Secondly, to understand why it is so wrong and why he should desist. The two are inclusive with each other.

Try asking him how speaking to you like that makes him feel. IF the response is anything other than 'bad', 'regretful', 'angry with myself' or at worst blaming you for it then you do have an uphill struggle and the door should be shown until a time when he learns better, and likes himself a bit more.

My Dp would never speak to me like that and I wouldn't let him. I'm not being boasty, I just mean that if you put up with his shit you're basically saying it's fine.
Get rid of him, it's not normal an it's not ok

yes dinky - I am forty-cough years old and have never ever spoke to a partner like this. Moreover it has never even ocurred to me that I could or would. Angry/baffled by your impossible -to- understand ways , yes. But abuse, no.

me and my DH argue with the best of them but regardless of what the argument is about we NEVER call eachother names and i would definitely not stand for being called 'c&t', 's&t', 'wh&*e' etc it sounds like your 'D'P is a spoilt brat TBH he doesnt get his own way so he insults you until you give in?? my 4YO DD behaves better than that!!

i say offer him his belongings in a bag and say see ya later!

You paint a pretty unpleasant picture - verbally abusive, sponging, selfish and intolerant. Calling someone a 'whore' and 'evil' is way outside the norm for even the fiercest arguments. Even if you laugh off his horrible insults you are being devalued by staying and it sounds like you've got everything to gain and nothing to lose by getting out now.

Are you serious?this is not remotely acceptable, really it's not.

Just realised that there are two of these threads so I will stick to the other one.

Sorry didn't realise there are two threads that's why I haven't replied.