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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex-best friend & wedding invite (long)

4 replies

Manfwood · 23/07/2003 10:24

Just thought i would ask your opinion on some weird stuff that has been going on with someone who i used to describe as my BF. To cut a long story short, even though we led quite different lives - she PR girl in London with on-off relationship with boyfriend, me settled down in Berks with DH and DS - we remained friends (from university) always chatted on the phone and emailed etc. Started to get less and less and she then split up with boyfriend which i found out by accident. She was devastated but didnt want to talk to me about it (was never in when i called) and when tried to arrange to meet up she was too upset to see anyone etc So i left her to it for a while and it just all went a bit cold. We spoke briefly and then i emailed her after Xmas and it was clear she didnt want to know but said they were now engaged and all was rosy. Several months down the line (and after exchanging Birthday cards and brief email) we have now received wedding invite. Of course i will be going and hope she wants to make amends but find it all a bit weird that she hasnt been in touch previously. Didnt want to go to the bother of asking her what i had done etc just didnt want to go down that whole analysis thing. Have sent cheery email saying thanks for the invite etc but still think all a bit strange.

What do you think??

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 23/07/2003 10:30

I think it's a combination of things: she was embarrassed at the whole we-broke-up-and-I-slagged-him-off-but-now-we're-getting-married thing - maybe - and perhaps she didn't see you during the whole break up drama since you're in a happy relationship and it was easier to discuss with friends who were single or going through break ups themselves? A sort of life stage thing I guess. I think she's probably just been caught up in a lot of emotional drama and hasn't had much time. Maybe your friendship will last, maybe not but I doubt you've done anything, I expect it's just one of those drifting apart kind of things.

aloha · 23/07/2003 10:43

I think www is absolutely right. And now she's getting married and wants kids she wants married, family-oriented friends around her. I think that happens a lot.

Manfwood · 23/07/2003 10:43

Yes i did think that for a while but i'm sure she was seeing friends who were also settled and with kids etc so wasnt sure about that. Got email back from her which started 'good to hear from you' which may have been slight dig but otherwise was very friendly so fingers crossed that we can at least stay on friendly terms as i do feel i have missed her. Although made lots of new friends since having DS it is still nice to keep in touch with old ones.

OP posts:
doormat · 23/07/2003 11:28

I think www hit the nail on the head.

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