friend's husband having an affair, how do I help?

[theladylovescupcakes]

as in the title. she's distraught. How can I help? What can I say/do? Feel helpless. Thanks for any info.

Just listen to her.

Let her ramble on, be there with the hugs, tissues, coffee, chocolate biscuits etc. Help her with the practical stuff while she's on the floor with grief, bit of shopping, housework etc

Don't judge if she decides to stay with him and dont slag him off too much because if they do decide to make a go of things she will feel awkward around you afterwards

Any chance you could introduce her to mumsnet (if she's willing) for extra support?

Otherwise what Akhems said.

Just be nice to her - her self esteem is as low as it can be and she needs to feel worthwhile. Keep telling her it's not her fault. Don't expect her to get over it any time soon.

I helped a friend out a while ago with this. She said the best thing was, I told her she could ring me 24hrs, I would listen but not judge and i helped with kids, shopping, ironing etc, cos she was worried about kids having no food, clothes etc etc. Seems unimportant, but it also seems very important when you are not thinking rationally. One night she text me at 3am to see if I was awake. i rang her and we were on the phone for over an hour, she had been laying awake crying and just wanted to take her mind of things. There are not many people you can call at 3am, but as things always seem worse at night, it is a good thing to offer. She did get back with her dh, amazingly. So do not say anything too bad about her dh incase they do get back.

thanks for the advice it's hard to know if I'm saying the right thing/upsetting her more. introducing her to mumsnet should have been the most obvious thing! thanks again.