I have a wild imagination but - what would you think of this?

[Citrus81]

DH lies to me constantly from slal stuff to big stuff. I have now taken to installing something on the pc which allows me to view internet history that he THINKS he has deleted (or viewed in private IE).
I have noticed he has been looking at property sites a lot and actually viewing houses in our city. Not once has he mentioned this to me and we have not considered moving, nor would we be able to anyway.
So why does he keep looking at property in private/deleting his tracks?

My wild imagination is focussing on the fact that his EX WIFE is currently homeless (well, staying with her family) and she cannot rent a house as she doesn't work. Is my imagination taking the piss in suggesting that DH may be considering the possibility of getting back with her and moving into a house together??

Things between us are cold and strained but it wouldn't be a massive suprise. Also, he has been leaving his mobile phone around a lot lately (to make a point I think) but in his deleted internet history he's been regularly logging in to a t-mobile account (his phone is orange) which is only supposed to be for mobile internet which he apparantly hasn't used for months.

Paranoid? or do I have a point?

Sorry I don't mean he's been viewing houses in real life, just viewing the info on certain houses on the sites.

I think you have a point. Anything that's hidden is a problem (I speak as a serial hider but for different reasons).

Have it out with him. If things are as cold and strained as you suggest then you have little to lose. If he's going to leave at least it would be a mutual, controlled thing that way rather than a dear john.

I don't think you are paranoid! Can you get a keylogger to get access to this T mobile account? When you say he's been viewing do you mean actually going to meet the estate agent at the property? BTW what is the software you're using to spy? sounds good!

I can get in his t-mobile account and from what I can see, there is nothing dodgy on it but why does he keep logging in if he isn't using it? Im starting to suspect a different t-mobile account that I don't know about.

The program is index.dat (it's great!)

TBH I think that if your relationship is sufficiently bad that you feel the need to install a key-logger, then there's no trust left whatsoever and you need to move on.

does he leave the rest of his browsing history viewable and just delete this one thing?

I've got 2 tmobile accounts and they come in a little drop down, not with separate logins if that helps

I don't see anything remotely suspicious in browsing property sites or having an unused mobile. But I think the fact that you do, and feel the need to check on him, means your relationship is dead in the water. The most constructive thing you could do is take control & start a divorce.
Sorry.

if he lies and there is no trust, that is a reason to end things or seek outside input.

i browse houses all the time. out of nosiness and it's always good fun to see how other people live. occasionally i wonder about moving to where my folks live, so look at houses in that area.

wouldn't neccearily share that with Dh.if it's just idle messing around

if he lies constantly, that's a problem

if things are cold and strained, that's a problem

No he browses some sites in his normal browser and leaves it in the history (so I can't accuse him of clearing history) but these are sites like ebay, bank account, bbc news etc - boring things, things I know about.

So if his property searching was innocent, why does he turn the private browser on to look at it?

all you can do is keep an eye on things and I'm sure you will find your answer in the not too far future. Try and not say anything until then incase it is harmless?

so the houses he's browsing...who do they suit?/

are they the kind for just his ex wife....or the kind you and him would like? enough room for your kids?

I'm assumimg you've considered marriage guidance counselling? He needs individual counselling too so that he can look at why he lies. Can't believe you've gone to these lengths- I thought people only did this kind of stuff on American chat shows- what a horrible situation to be in.
Is there really a future for you two?

What has led up to this, I wonder? You say things have been cold and strained and there must be some reason why you are tracking his browsing?

Maybe he is helping his wife find a house just for her.

Well I was out all evening, came back, he went to bed, I checked the history - full of property searching again. Why? why would he do this everytime my back was turned?

I suppose I am kind of passed caring, it's just morbid curiosity now I think.

This sounds like a horrible way to live. What's keeping you in the relationship? Do you have DC together?