Well, to summarise. Mum left my father when I was 10 and I do recall being very close to him. We did move far away from him and after a year I lost all contact. I'm sure its a combination of her telling him that we now have a new father and him not wanting to fight / giving up, whatever.
So the years pass by, me feeling shit thinking about him but also having a new step-dad. You just get by I guess, even though the resentment festers inside.
After I turned 18 he tried to get in contact with me and my sister and we emailed once or twice a year. He wanted more contact and I just couldn't face it, was too angry and annoyed with him.
Now that I am on the better side of 30, I have finally decided to tackle a few of my issues and his being one of them.
Called him up and got his new wife on the phone (married 20 years). And....she couldn't have been nice if she tried! She was so lovely, could have talked to her for ages. Also talked to him but you know what its like to get guys talking on the phone.
So, my sister and I have decided to see him at the end of September and am really looking forward to it. Of course it won't happen without a few tears along the way but I finally feel like I can talk to him and not be so angry about it. I don't know where this inner wisdom has come from.
I just wanted to give people some hope that may be in a similar situation. I realised that life is too short and if there is a problem, one just has to deal with it and get on with it.
And to all 'new wives' out there: don't feel threatened by previous relationship's children. Embrace them if you can. I have no intentions of causing problems in their new family but I so do appreciate the way she behaved towards me and my sister. Hopefully we can all move on and forward, with no finger pointing and accusing. The past is the past, let it rest.
Well, there now is just the small matter of conveying this to my Mum and Dad. Perhaps I'll just put that off for a while .
Thanks for reading.