Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Snipy SIL

4 replies

MilkMonitor · 20/07/2010 19:43

Every time I see my sil, she always some snide comment to make to me about something I've organised or done.

I can't be bothered with it anymore - it upsets me actually. I stood up to her once and she was nice for a while after that. But then she started doing it again.

I've decided that I just don't want to see her at all anymore where possible. I wouldn't put up with it from a friend so I'm not sure why I should put up with it from a relative.

I'm not close to my brother (her dh) in the slightest - we've never really got on beyond our young childhood. In fact, there's been a lot of mutual dislike there too which was slightly suspended when we both had children. He's still very negative and unfriendly when we meet and never makes an effort conversation wise. It's laboured and uncomfortable.

So, I've simply stopped contacting them, stopped inviting them to shows that we get tickets for (although they've never accepted). Just tried to gently phase them out of our lives as much as possible, with no fuss or drama. I thought they wouldn't notice.

However, my brother has started leaving messages on my answering machine. I'm just not interested in having contact with him. I find the whole thing negative and upsetting and can't be bothered with it. Our kids will only meet at Christmas time nowadays if they can bothered to join us.

What do I do? I don't want to do a "flounce" - I just want to fade quietly from their view. Because if sil makes any more bitchy comments to me, I'll have to work hard to not punch her on the nose.

I don't want to have a frank conversation with my brother about it because what's the point? I don't want to stir up any argument or bad blood because I'm not interested anymore. I just can't be bothered with them.

What's the best approach? Just keep on not responding to messages? Or have a conversation about it?

OP posts:
roses2 · 20/07/2010 20:18

What exactly has he been saying in his messages? Good stuff or bad? Do you want to stay in contact so your children have cousins?

Ryma · 20/07/2010 20:53

Dont give her a chance, just stop communicate with her!

MilkMonitor · 20/07/2010 20:59

Well, I love for my children to know their cousins. They've got lots of cousins though.

His messages (two so far which is an awful lot for him because he never ever telephone unless he wants career advice from dh) have been wondering why we're not in touch really. Give them a ring. Just the kind of stuff you'd leave.

He's asked my mum about it too. I can't be arsed even to pick up the 'phone actually. Does that make me a bad person?

We've always extended invites for them to come - when they do come (Christmas etc), we give them our bedroom so they're comfy.

I invited her to my wedding even though I'd never met her because my brother asked me to... ..

Plus DH gets free tickets for stuff at the 02 in London so if it's for children, we always ask them but they don't come for those. Which is fine. No offence taken about that. But I've given up on them because she's so snippy.

OP posts:
SugarMousePink · 20/07/2010 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page