Partner going to AA meeting but is it too late?

[vintagewarrior]

Last Saturday realised dp is an alcoholic. A binging but frequently abstaining alcoholic, hence my surprise as we've been together nearly 5 years. This week he has begun to self harm. The stress is making me Ill. (dreadful IBS). I am completely torn as to if it is acceptable to make him move out whilst he seeks help. If it wasn't for pfbs 2, he'd have been out already, but I am so confused. I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone in rl about how he is acting, and feel guilty that I'm in effect dropping him on his arse when he needs me? He has no one else to support him, but who, supporting me??? My life is suddenly feeling life a jeremy Kyle show........

You haven't said whether you still love him, whether you see a future together - or at least whether you'd like a future together. If he's going to an AA meeting then that's great - it shows he acknowledges the problem, and it's completely up too you as to whether you feel able to (or want to) support him along the way. If it's affecting your physical and mental health, then yes, self-preservation is probably the way to go, at least for now.

Bear in mind you're not making some final, long-term decision - it could be that what you need is a break from him for a few weeks while he starts to recover.

I think Al-Anon is a support group for family of alcoholics - they might be useful.

hi vintage - didn't want to read and run - my dh attends al-anon, he finds it really helpful to talk to other people in the same position (i am an alcoholic)

you sound at your wits end , all i would say is that at the end of the day you have to put your health first, your dc need you more than your husband does!, he is the adult and however low he is, he has a choice in his behaviour, your dc dont!.