This is my first post but been lurking for a while, I'm hoping people can give me their honest views/advice?
Bit of background - I have been with DF for 4yrs have an 8 month old DS who is my whole world and I adore him. DF is a good dad in that he does nappies, will do the night shift when he is off work, bath him if I ask etc.
The problem is I really don't think I love Df anymore and I am thinking of leaving him, he doesn't seem to have any ambition (been in the same min wage job for 20+yrs) he is very intelligent but has no ambition whatsoever which I find soul destroying, on his days off we never go anywhere or do anything as a family unless I nag, he prefers to watch TV all day and sit on his laptop with is so boring!
About a month ago I was helping my mum out so DF was looking after DS and I asked him to give him his dinner at 5.30pm, bath 6.30pm and I would be back to give him his bottle for bed. Anyway I get home at 7.10pm and DS is screaming the place down, DF is trying to feed him and he was shattered so I went off on one asking him why on earth was he feeding him so late and asked had he been on his laptop again, which he denied. I could tell he was lying from his reaction so I checked his comp history and I was right, instead of feeding our son he was on bloody porn sites! I was fuming (must add that I don't have an issue with porn as such but prioritising it over feeding our DS was unbelievable). I didn't say anything to him the next day and he went to bed early saying how tired he was, but I noticed the modem lights flashing so again knew he was online so I checked the history of his comp and he had been on webcam chat sites (I feel deeply offended that he would rather be on these sites talking to strangers than be with me). A day or so later he was showing me a pic on his phone he had taken of DS and his gallery of pics came up and I could see pics of girls so I challenged him to show me and it was screen shots of the girls he had been chatting to online. He said he took them to wind a guy up at work about the girls on the site and swore he had only just found the website - which I knew to be lies from his comp history. Anyway I also confronted him about the porn when he should have been feeding DS and he swore over our sons life he wasn't online until I showed him the proof. I am so upset with him doing that, it is unforgivable
Anyway the relationship has been quite sour for a while now, I had PND and don't feel he supported me much, I feel resentful that I have to do all his washing, ironing etc as he leaves everything at his backside, I blame his upbringing as his mum does everything for his dad.
I also want to move as no longer feel a flat in a town centre is a good place to bring up DS - I want a garden for him to play, a property in a quiet location away from pubs and busy road but DF does not want to sell the flat (in his name) as we spent a lot of money on doing it up to a high standard, he has no motivation to do any DIY at all etc and think the flat is a good place for DS!
I went mental at him over his lying and told him I no longer wanted to be with a liar, took off my engagement ring etc but he is acting like nothing has happened!
I think I am going to leave him but feel guilty that DS would grow up in a broken home although DF would still live in the same town and I would never stop him seeing his son, the opposite in fact I would always encourage it.
Am i being ridiculous to leave what is an unfulfilling relationship where I feel I am not respected, and no longer find my DF sexually attractive - BTW we have not had sex for months as the relationship is on the rocks and he is in the spare bedroom for his snoring.
Any advice? Sorry this post has been so long but it felt good writing it all down!