have you had you patner cheat on you via internet...?

[mopsera]

...and if so what happened?

I kicked him out when DD was 2 weeks old.

what kind of cheating was it..did they meet or was it just online chaT and flirting?

back again, mops ?

love, asking the same question again and again is only going to get you the same replies

what he is doing is unacceptable...end of

yes and it's pretty much destroyed everything.I remember once i actually cooked an expensive meal and put a movie on for us only to find he had vanished upstairs after a few minutes ("i'm going to feed the cat") to talk to this woman on the internet.I used to sit downstairs knowing he was up there talking to her.Sometimes he would be on there all night.The final straw was when i found out that she saw me as a rival and was badmouthing me!!
Yes it is totally wrong and i was 16 weeks pregnant at the time and didn't kick him out because i was feeling vulnerable.Over now though pretty much i think.

My relationship with him i mean.

anything he's doing that you feel isn't right probably isn't. i don't know your history but this is generally bad news.

whats confusing is he justifies this by saying he has always been faithful, and has done this in both his marriage ( 19 yrs , 2 boys and she still seems to miss/fancy him a bit ) and his ensuing 'recovery' relationship ( 5 yrs and she wanted to marry him/ misses him alot and didnt want him to leave .. )...and says its just loneliness and the love he has of women and he has no desire to meet them.
Also i realised they will soon lose interest when they cant talk on the phone or meet up..surely they will also then realise he might not be serious and/ or single? if so all of the above should mean its not a seriuos threat?

oh and his other thing is helping people to 'wake up'by teaching them what he has learnt and helping them if they are down

my head therefore says its ok but my heart says not

Er what? It's not making sense.

His love and lonliness for women justifies himself in talking to other women on the net intimately and ignoring you.

You believe he has always been faithful and he won't take it any further. Him speaking to other women instead of you is not a serious threat.

The guy is a tosser and you need to work on building up your self worth hun.

He muat be aeriously deluded to believw that and you must be seriously deluded to beliebe him.
He is spinning you a line and you are falling for it.

He is cheating on you----end of..............

oh bloody hell sorry for the spelling l am typing in the dark without my glasses

will preview this one

Yes and I ended it, he was never going to be faithful, whatever way you look at it, it's only time before he meets "the one", and you get your heart broken whilst he's off shagging her....Leave before he does this because it will happen.

i guess my feeling is that he is hunting for his next partner; while pretending to just need friends.yes i agree it is a form of cheating as it sexual too.

thing is i cant stop him as he's up late on interenet while im asleep and msm's loads of different women.

am not quite ready for 'the conversation' but it is inevitable due to the way things are going

Mops, thats the exact thing my EX said to me, there only friends, I need them to talk to!!! it is cheating IMHO, because if you managed to look at what he is saying to them you will find that it is totally inappropriate for someone who is in a relationship. Believe me I know.

Have "the conversation" sooner rather than later as you are just putting off the inevitable. We'll be here when you do.

ok...its happened.thanks for your support. i wanted this rel to work for alot longer and i think we were both surprised at the suddenness of the ending ( it started suddenly too ).however i just hit a wall and i just cant live 'his' way anymore, just run out of steam.he has to control and dominate and i just cant be dominated for ever, including the money which he decides ( all goes into his a/c )on top of niggling critiscism of me/ my friends/ my family/ women today..etc etc.which i didnt want to undermine me but it has a bit.

i need a sense of myself again and i although i was happy with him to some extent and he has been a great partner in many ways i am suffocating. i feel terribly terribly sad for baby but better than two rowing parents and she's picking up the vibes.i just want her to have a happy peaceful life

Good for you mopsera. Do you want to talk about it?

Have you finished your relationship, mops ?

Hi Mops,

Sorry that you feel crap at the minute, it hurts like hell when someone whom you loved so much betrays you, but give it time and you and your DC will be better off in the long run.

I'm much further down the line than you, I cut all contact with my EX in March, and I'm getting back to how I was, not having to constantly worry if he was going to work or if he was booking A/L (as I found out later he had done) to meet up with the women he was "friends" with.

I still have bad days thinking how could he do this to another person that he said he loved, but I now realize he didn't love me at all, he just needed me as a stop gap, until he found someone who suited his needs better.

Onwards and upwards is my way forward and you will get there.