A visit from the monster in law

[lizzynuts]

day 4 of her visit and I am sitting in the front room while the MIL destroys my kitchen making meringues, since the gooseberry crumble I prepared for tonight's pud is clearly not to her fancy.

Other highlights have included sharing potty training anecdotes about my husband with my colleague who had called round after work to discuss some work issues with me. And demanding to be driven separately to a catholic church tomorrow morning since coming to my c of e service "isn't the same". Despite the fact that my church welcomes all denominations and is where we are having her grandson christened in a few weeks. So we will have to get our baby up and dressed for 730 tomorrow morning in order to take her.

Has anyone else out there had a visit which left you with no tongue left after biting it so hard?

You limit contact with such people and set firm boundaries. Its the only way.
Where is your husband whilst all this is going on?.

Re this comment as well:-
"So we will have to get our baby up and dressed for 730 tomorrow morning in order to take her".

No you don't have to do this. Your H should take her (perhaps he should grow a spine as well if he is readily allowing all this to be going on. Many men do find it hard to stand up to their domineering mother but such men need to for their sake as much as for their wife).

Why are you allowing yourselves to be seemingly walked on like this?. Its your house so you have the final say.

I agree with Atilla - call the woman a taxi...

I find the title of this thread should belong to working mens clubs of the 70s and it is, most emphatically, offensive.

Your mother in law probably rarely sees her family and wants to join in but is not doing it very well or not playing by your very controlling rules. Perhaps she thought the merangue would compliment the lovely pudding you baked.

Why do you all have to go to her church?

Give her a break. Can you not put up with someone entering your 'domain' for a few days of the year?

I sympathise Lizzynuts.

Celticfairy, are you a MIL by any chance?

You could all go to the service at her church...

I think having anyone to stay for more than 1 night is hard work, but TBH making conversation with your colleague and offering to help with the cooking don't seem the worst crimes in the world.

I find a good reality check for my reaction to MIL behaviour is to think how I'd react if my own Mum did the same thing. i.e are you annoyed by her actions, or because it's her?

Monster in law ..nice ..wonder what she calls you?

she wants to help in the kitchen and cook you something in return for staing?

Her humore about potty trianing is funny to her and she like toilet humor - buy her a book on toilet humor for christmas.

Pull on a t shirt and jeans and drive her over to the local chatholic church

then return to bed - you don't have to go to the morning service at your own church - you could go to the eve service at another church.

she is old and has her own ways - you will also be old one day if you get there and have your own ways and think you are helping....

Well, I think your DH should take her to the church of her choice if anyone is going to. Personally, I believe that when you stay with someone you should fit in with them as much as possible. So far as the other stuff goes, I think she is just getting on your nerves because she has been in your house for 4 days, she is not really doing anything bad.
My MIl got on my nerves today and she was only here for a few hours.Did not want to spend saturday afternoon with her and her new partner ensconced on my sofa, but again, she wasn't doing anything wrong. The problem was with me

@Violet. No! Oldest child is 17. Hopefully it will be another ten years or so of that. But I do like the paternal grandmother of my children. We didn't hit it off straight away but I've always known that she's a great person. And very helpful. I appreciate all she does for me.

The oddest thing to me, reading this as an atheist, is how your thoughts towards her clash so much with your Sunday church-going. Isn't the idea of Christianity to be tolerant and kind and forgiving to everyone, esp family?

It's hard to tell from the Op's post whether this woman is a nightmare or not. Did she deliberately undermine you about the pudding, or just cheerfully get on with helping out?

I'd happily let someone else make another pudding. I know some people hate gooseberries and my brother hates crumbles. Re church I don't see why you all have to get up so she can go to church and agree with those suggesting your husband gets up and drives her there/ shows her where it is if it's walkable. (My dad in his 70s happily walks to church, visitors don't necessarily need a car to ferry them everywhere.)
There's still quite a bit of Catholic v protestant aggro in areas of Scotland though so to me a catholic not wanting to go to a protestant service isn't that surprising.