i have to dump him - how to do it nicely?

[nochoice]

I have been seeing someone for about 2 months and i dont know. Hes just not for me at all.

Hes got no go in him, hes sensible and writes lists, and thinks all the time. Im passionate, and spontaneuous and just have a lust for life.

The sex is rubbish. He has no clue what hes doing. I dont think hes confident at all. Where as im a try anything once kind of a girl, and hes a more of a ' i dont think id like that' sort of a person. He never makes a move on me at all. And i have to put his hands where i want them, else they just lie next to him.

I thought i could get past the sex thing and that it was shallow for it to matter, but it does to me.

So, ive not actually dumped anyone, other than my husband. How on earth do i do it, what do i say?

Lizardy, I guess, means too much with the tongue

He might even be quite relieved to be dumped, as if he's that passive he may lack the initiative to dump you himself. He may be asking his best mate right now, "How can I tell her she's just too hot and lively for me? I don't want to hurt her as she's a nice person, she's just not for me".

yes - too much tongue.
apparently.

though he doesnt seem to mind too much when its used in other areas.

BBB - that last one made me cackle out loud

His first name doesn't begin with G does it?? Seriously, don't worry about how - just do it. He sounds like a right party And I agree with ItsGrace about not flogging a dead horse.. As it were

i think id prefer it if there were a bit of flogging going on. Anything would be better that what it was. He doesnt even thrust really. Just sort of wriggles like a maniac when hes about to cum. Sorry tmi for a sunday morning.

Then goes on about how much i seemed to enjoy it

or asks me if ive cum, which i havent and then gets exhasperated and signs ' well, what on earth do i have to do!'

then tells me i kiss too lizardy.

actually, what an arse.

He tells you you enjoyed it?

OK, he's not such a nice man, he's a deluded idiot who left his brain on another planet last time he was visiting his folks. Bin him quickly and firmly. (But not rudely, there's never an excuse for that.)

ok - reckon i could do it by text? or is that horribly mean?

or, if i have to do it face to face, what do i say?

Kust im really sorry, but i dont want to do this anymore?

Do it by text.

He's not exactly that nice to you anyway.

Sounds exactly like me ex- how weird.

He sounds grim. Stop stressing about it, just bin him.
THen you might like to take the time to ask yourself if you're a bit desperate. Because there seems to be no good reaosn to give someone as boring and wet as this man sounds two weeks of your time, let alone two months.
It's fine to be single, you don't have to have a partner. It's never a good idea to be so desperate for a partner that you keep 'trying' with any loser who crosses your path, telling yourself that you can overlook sexual ineptitude, lousy dress sense, uncool sense of humour or 'work on' such things. WHat else will you brace yourself to put up with in order not to be single?Constantly borrowing money off you? INcipient alcoholism? Non-exclusivity when you want a monogamous relationship? ANything at all as long as he doesn't hit you?

ok - text it is.

think i can get away with
' i dont really want to do this anymore'

solid yes i know. he was a distraction from someone else. which has all kind of come to ahead yesterday ( after my decision to have to dump him) Thread in chat entitled cheer me up and in pathetic grump or something.

anyway, now ive got to deal with both. No, nothing wrong with being single at all, ive been single for a long time. and now will be again.

I've had to do the 'goodbye' thing this week. I was supposed to go to his but I 'feined' not feeling well. Then didn't call much. Thats what I have been doing over the last week or so, 'phasing it out' so he gets the idea and the possibility. Fortunately he's been going out and has had a busy week socially so I don't feel too bad but I know he knows it's on the demise.

More or less the same reasons too.

This one used to be so coarse and rough with his hand work on me you'd think he was building a sandcastle (or that is what it felt like).It got to the point where I dreaded it and would settle for just bump and grind ... Oh if only these poor guys knew. And no amount of suggestion and showing would help. Simply no sensitivity. And me with my menopausal fanny...

Nochoice - Just say things are not working out and your not really looking for a relationship, your to busy etc...

He sounds like a right tosser.

As you've only been seeing him a short time I doubt his world will collapse if you end things with any of the nice platitudes suggested here but its nice to know you have a kind heart and dont want to hurt him

nochoice i think you will look back in months to come and shudder
i think if you can have better sex alone he really has to go!