I think he is possessive, am I strange?

[Dominique07]

My question is, is there something strange about me?

I met someone online. They were straight into heavy kissing and wanted to go home together on the first date. We met up a couple more times and had sex!

We've been talking on MSN and on cam online almost non stop for a week since we met on the online dating site.

I feel that he is pushy, competitive and possessive and that he keeps wanting to kiss, keeps calling me, keeps asking to 'go on cam' and seems to want to come round to my house every night although I have a child and am trying to wait for my child free nights.

It sounds like madness and yet he can't see anything strange about it. I've just cancelled going out tonight and sadly have really upset him.

Is it odd, that I would see him as pushy and possessive and also, now, manipulative and yet also want to see him?

I've only been able to call it off because we met on an online dating site so I thought I'd try to date a few different people and get to understand the dating game and find the right person not just settle on something 'okay'. I think I do tend to get too intense and send out confusing messages too.

Am I overly cautious or is it totally normal to cancel a date because ir feels like its going too fast?

Nope. If you feel uncomfortable now it will only get worse. Trust your guts - they might be full of sh*t but they are often right

you are completely normal!

jesus he sounds scary...this sort of behaviour rings alarm bells with me
tbh i think he's taking advantage of you as he's fully aware that you're long out of the dating game so won't necessarily realise what's the norm now
listen to your gut and run,cut off all contact with this man

I have the feeling he was just looking for someone to fall in love with, anyone...
It rings alarm bells with me as well!

my gut here is that he thinks you're an easy shag 'til something better comes along
sorry to sound harsh
it strikes me that he's emotionally unavailable but is behaving in this manner as he thinks it's drawing you in

It is not too harsh at all as I don't fall in love in seven days! I'd rather know that a guy is interested in a casual relationship rather than wonder why the hell they're practically ready to move in before we've even met!

i wouldn't worry too much as i imagine that he's already made other plans for tonight
am glad that you're not going to let this put you off dating

No, I think your gut instinct is right. Give him the boot.

I have already made other plans for tonight now!
I'm starting to think I'm just a people pleaser.
But have no clue how to find the balance between being polite to someone and offending them so much that they're off and thats the end of the relationship. Although that was the desired result in this instance...

You could go crazy trying to work out what's going on in someone else's head. The main point is here that if you feel you are incompatible there is nothing at all wrong with deciding not to see a bloke any more. You don't owe him anything more than the common courtesy due to a fellow human being. Maybe you do quite like him, but he's not the only nice man you'll meet - unless he cuts all the others out with his pushiness!

Just bin him. He may be utterly desperate for a relationship but thats not your problem. Remember you don't owe anyone anything when you have just started dating him/her (well, nothing beyond reasonable courtesy, anyway.)
He may of course be an abusive nutjob: there is a type of abusive man who is very 'passionate' and 'romantic' at the beginning of a relationship, the idea actually being to completely override the woman's boundaries because he 'loves her so much' ie wants her under his control.
But either way, he's not your problem, there are other men out there, don't waste time or energy on anyone who freaks you out, bores you or annoys you in any way.

Yes definitely kick to the curb.

I have done online dating and you have to sort thru lots to meet the nicer ones. The minute I feel they are too pushy and desperate (and you can find this out in the initial phases of their chat online and emails etc) I back right off.

Don't think I would get as far as to have dates and sex before feeling comfortable with their emails and text frequency and few meets. When they are over zealous and pushy, it puts me right off.

If it doesn't feel right to you - then it isn't.

He is pushy, possessive, and frankly, he is the strange one here

Bin