sister (30) making things up and lying ?? what to do, if anything ?

[sparkle1977]

I don't know why I am posting this really as I don't know what advice could be offered.

Anyhow, on several occasions in the last few months my sister has told me that she is pregnant. First time round I really believed it, was excited for her etc etc. Only for her to tell me about 2 weeks later that she had miscarried. I had my suspicions at that time about whether the pregnancy was even real.

Yet again a few weeks ago she tells me the same again, she is pregnant. Again I tell her I am pleased etc etc but this time not believing her. Yet again about a week later she tells me she has miscarried again.

Now for various reasons I know 99.9% that she was lying on both occasions.

But I cannot understand why she does this ??? Is she just bored and wanting some excitement in her life ??!

I have not ever confronted her about these false pregnancies as she can be very stubborn and awkward and I just know it will turn into a huge argument and she will end up not bothering to see me etc. It doesn't seem worth the bother. However if there is a 3rd time anytime soon I may gently start to question her as I am getting a bit fed up with it tbh.

there must be something going on with her - what could it be do you think?

is she an attention seeker normally? or does she really want a baby and can't have one for some reason?

How do you know she is lying...what makes you think that? Not having a go, but wondered where your concerns are coming from.

What is going on in her life right now?

i think you should comfront her the 3rd time and whatever her reasons are then thats her problem unless serious and needs support. do you have children?

don't the doctors offer testing after 3 mc? Tell her you'll go with her for the testing... Insist upon it, it's what sisters do... See what she does then.

Do you know she's lying because there is no way she could have had sex recently enough to be PG? Basically, are her lies preposterous enough to indicate a mental illness (or is there a history of delusional episodes?) or do you think she's attention-seeking/troublemaking?

I've had 10 mcs. 6 of which were very early, within about a week or 2 of a positive test so (luckily for me, much like a heavy period). I guess had we not been ttc I wouldn't have tested and most likely wouldn't have realised. however, almost every time I told my sister as I needed her support. She NEVER questioned whether the pregnancies were real and I would have been devastated if she had.

Unless you have reason to believe your sister has an underlying mental health issue I would suggest you need to be a bit more supportive of her.

She can a bit of an attention seeker normally yes, she sometimes tells me lies about mutual friends of ours etc, nothing really big but just silly little lies.

I know she is lying about these 2 miscarriages as she tells me not to tell other people like our mum for instance. She also never told her DP about either occasion. When I told her to see the GP each time for a check over, to ask for tests as she has had 4 mc's (2 of which I know were real and were about 10 years ago) she just says no like she's not bothered or anything. Please trust me, I realise that all this could still indicate that she is in fact telling the truth but I know her and I know when she is lying to me.

Yes I have children myself but she has never been jealous of that fact or anything at all like that.

Are you SURE she is lying? I miscarried once and the ONLY reason the dr wanted me checked over as I was on the pill when I found out and could have been anywhere between 5 weeks and 12. That's why I wanted to be seen as I was so uncertain.

I bled for about 3 days and that was it scan all clear, I told my mum about 2 weeks after no-one else I specifically asked her.

I had a 2nd miscarriage and I told no-one at all only DH in the end. I miscarried early bled for 4 days and then went on as normal, I didn't go to the dr, I didn't want too, I knew I was fine as such and it was an early thing.

Maybe she does not want to face upto it. I know if I'd of had a mc this time I wouldn't have asked for tests I'd probably have left it again.

Do tread carefully she may not be lying.

If it's before 12 weeks then I don't get too excited if someone tells me they are pregnant because of the risk of miscarriage. I think the availability of early pregnancy tests often does more harm than good with people getting upset about early miscarriges where as 20 years ago they'd just have thought they'd had a late period or maybe a miscarriage. If she tells you again and again has a "miscarriage" then 3 miscarriages in a row is a reason to see her GP and get referred to an obstetrician to see if she has an illness that is causing her to recurrently miscarry.
If it's attention seeking she won't go, but it may stop her developing more "pregnancies". If she's genuine you will have done her a favour by encouraging her to get medical help.
Telling your sister before your husband sounds very strange. Imagine if blokes had babies and someone's husband had told his brother twice he was pregnant but not his wife!