too much, too soon??

[partytime]

So have met a guy a few weeks ago, exchanged texts, phone calls and been on two dates.

I like him, we get on well, he isn't great looking but nor is he fugly.

I have been surprised by his persistence in the way he contacts me, lots of texts and asking when can I call you. Some people might like that and he has said he does, i.e. it makes him feel that I am as interested in him as he is in me.

When we first went out, we had a brief discussion about expectations from a relationship. I said how independent I was and didn't like being smothered or hassled, and that I was happy to go with the flow and see what panned out.

No pressure, is what I want and if we enjoy each others company then great.

He is obviously more keen than I but my main concern is that it all feels to soon to be making 'what sort of relationship we have' type of statements. He has told me he is very 'taken' with me, and I just feel it is too soon for him or anybody to be saying these things.

Any advice? I will see him Sunday and speak on phone tonight.

Also I find this dating again a bit scary, not done it for 26 years!!

Hmm.. fair enough partytime, like i say each to their own.

I just felt at that stage I wanted to get to know the new guy but chatting about inane stuff.. then a bit more serious stuff (like, 2 or 3 months in) then our feelings about clingness etc just showed themselves.

Just wanted to post an update.
Not seen him for two weeks due to work, holiday, DC social commitments, although we texted and chatted on phone for hours. Got to know more about him and thought about him constantly.
Saw him Saturday night, he kisses me and, let's just say my pants were on fire, went back to his and the sex was great too.
He came to mine yesterday afternoon, DC out, ended up in bed. Again it was fantastic.
I'm seeing him again Wednesday.
I always believed in first impressions, maybe I was wrong this time or maybe it is great to be having sex again.

Glad it turned out OK - reading the earlier posts I was thinking 'oh dear, stalky desperate dickhead' but if he calmed down a bit after a telling then that's good. But remember: anyone has the right to end a relationship at any time. If he does get smothering, be firm with him, refuse to put up with it and if necessary, bin him - full-on clingy people are either exhausting with their neediness or they are actually dodgy - abusers like to isolate and control and often use the 'but you;re the only one I wan't' type lines.

SGB absolutley agree with you. I still have him to a certain extent at arms length, he has calmed down a lot and I have arranged our next meeting for Wednesday, my idea, so I feel like I have some control. He doesn't say clingy things just that he likes me a lot and wants to continue seeing me with no pressure as he understands about my commitments with regards to the DC. He also has his DC to stay a lot and is a very hands on dad. He is very busy with his own business and hobbies too.
It appears that he was very keen on me from the start and has apologised that he was too full-on.
I guess I will have to wait and see.

Good luck PT x

In my experience, men who say "so glad you are not a clingy, needy woman" can't deal with independence for too long and end up back with someone they then complain about being too clingy and needy. I am probably jaded though so if this turns out different, let us know :-)